Zombies'n'S**t Ep. 36

Revelations

Sophia quirked her head to one side, the ghost of her smile still sparkling in her eyes, "So tell me about yourself.  You are doing a good job at trying to distract me."

I sighed and looked away, "What do you care."

I heard something in her voice, irritation, maybe?  "C'mon.  I'm curious."

I groaned and rolled onto my back and stared at the concrete ceiling, "I don't know what you want.  My whole life, CliffNotes version?"

"Well," she started, "Start with your name.  What happened to you to make you like this?"

I continued staring at the ceiling, "I don't know.  I never knew my name.  Or what happened to me.  I just woke up like this with a tag on my toe.  Said 'John Doe'.  Others had the same tag, but I took it.  It was all I had."

I heard her shift as she spoke, "How come you don't know?  Do all others not remember?"

"As far as I know, everyone else remembers everything Before.  They remember their names, their family, their friends, their hometown, even their rent payments.  They didn't change a whole lot after they Returned, except for having to act like you usually see them."  I shrugged, uncomfortable.

She made a thoughtful sound and asked, "What do you mean 'act'?  Do you guys act like we do?  Like you are right now?"

I tilted my head so I could see her and spoke in a quiet voice, "They act just as they did Before.  We have to act around you Normies."

She frowned at me,"Normies?  What does that mean?"  Her eyes widened, "Wait, you're distracting me again.  We'll get back around to that.  Tell me more about yourself."

I stared at her a few moments longer and sighed again, "Look, I don't like to talk about myself.  There is so much even I don't know about myself.  All I know is when I woke up and left the morgue."  I held up a hand to forestall any further questions, "And no, I don't know why I seem to be the only one who has this issue.  I was damn disoriented when it happened.  Nobody else has any answers or even theories.  I looked for records, but I found nothing."

She was silent for a few minutes, then quietly asked, "Why do you hate the living?"

I looked down at my hands, "You experience.  You feel.  You can feel your heart beating.  You remember everything you do.  I can't do any of that.  Instead, I eat your flesh and pretend it tastes good.  I see you scream when we come.  Believe it or not, I wish I could feel fear.  Human fear.  I am not human.  I am a mockery of humanity.  Everything you do has meaning.  You eat, you drink, you love, you laugh, you embrace everything life gives you, good and bad.  There is a certain satisfaction in that.  Imagine when you eat, you don't ever feel full.  Water doesn't satisfy.  Your laughter is hollow and a twinge of regret flashes through you.  You have no fear because you can't die.  At the same time, you can't just go back to how things were."

She spoke, her voice understanding, "I get it.  We all want nothing more than to go back to how things were.  To get out of this nightmare."

I snapped my focus back to her, "You don't understand.  When the dead go away, you can rebuild.  You can continue living.  You will always live."  I spat the last word.  She shifted uncomfortably, but I didn't relent.  I stared at her, hard and cold, "You have hope."  I felt half of my mouth twitch as a sneer curled up my lip, "The only thing we have is the desperate wish for oblivion."

Reviews

[C. Rose]

Very curious about his memory loss, and I'm remembering something about top-hat men controlling them. Thinking of the situation in his terms it does seem very unfair that after everything plays out the living can go on living.

[unspokenguilt]

Hmm, speaking of theories, perhaps he had lost his memory in life and carried it on to death? Or maybe something traumatic happened to him right before he died...maybe his death was gruesome...or maybe some one erased his memory and perhaps its what happens when a zombie breaks the zombie code...dun dun dun!