Zombies'n'S**t Ep. 17

It's Called Showmanship

I don't know if you know this, but being crazy sucks.  Listening to a worm- sorry, maggot- you pulled out of your face insult you?  How does one handle this kind of situation?  I did the only thing I could think of.

"In you go."  I grabbed it and popped it back in my mouth.

I sat and twiddled my thumbs for a while.  Eventually, the little guy wriggled into my cheek and settle there.  Hey, if I was going to be crazy, I wasn't about to advertise the fact.  I like my insanity to fester, thank you.

Several hours past.  After only one, I was really bored.  After two, I was gnawing on my arm; literally.  After three.......well, I was still gnawing on my arm.  God, that was therapeutic.  Don't look at me like that.

Finally, after about six thousand years, someone came in.  I couldn't tell who it was until they walked up to me and smacked me with a table leg.

Ah.

Hello, Max.

He untied me while I reacquainted myself with the stars.  His rough hands forced me up and kept pushing me towards the stars- I mean stairs.  When we got to the door, I turned and nipped at him.  Or at least, I would have, if he wouldn't have pushed me down the stairs.  After a brief tumble, I was down one floor and up one headache.  Arms still tied behind me, my face pressed against the corner of the wall and floor of the landing, one leg hung over my back, the other rearing to go down the next flight.

Ta-da.

Max went down after me, albeit a darn sight better and gave me a friendly hand.  By which I mean, pushed me down the next flight.  This time I ended up doing the splits.  I would have done jazz hands if I could've.  He hauled me into the living area.  It was fairly bright here.  I guess they covered all the windows upstairs.  I found myself being stared at by everyone.  Must've been thirty people there, and a grip of tiny people.  Erm, I mean children.

Why gee.  A surprise party?  For me?  You shouldn't have!

Hi starsch.

I guess ol' Max didn't like me standing still so he gave me a love tap.  Did I mention how much I like Max?  No?  Good.

He herded me towards a side room I hadn't noticed in the chaos earlier.  Or yesterday.  Whatever.  I found myself in a room with only one big window taking up the entire opposite wall and a couple of desks.  So that is where Max got his stick.

Mary, the nice lady, was waiting for me.  Wearing a smock.  Next to a table with what looked like medical surgical equipment.  And a hammer.

Oh.

Crap.

Reviews

[unspokenguilt]

I love the way he tells time lol!

[Wordsmith_Artemis]

I never get tired of your humor. Also, plus infinity awesomeness for the mention of jazz hands. And ALL of the sarcasm. Your writing is always such fun to read :)

[C. Rose]

Your username reminds me of someone. Did you wear a silver bell around your neck in high school?

[Wordsmith_Artemis]

I didn't, but I know a few people who did. Where did you go?

[C. Rose]

USM then Waylo

[Wordsmith_Artemis]

Then I probably don't know anyone that you do. Did K-12 in New Mexico, then NMT in Socorro. Seems like we know similar types though.

[C. Rose]

(halued)
I like "down one floor and up one headache" "I like my insanity to fester"
Thanks for the next chapter :)

[wagonburner]

To be honest, I find it unusually legit folks like yourself are amused by this little...tangent of mine. Ah, hell. Hope I can at least entertain you for a wee bit longer.