Zombies'n'S**t Ep. 9

What Is SO Damn Grand About It?

Slapping the glass with my palm, I continued moaning and drooling.  By the way, did you know we can drool?  Our bodies don't produce any other liquids, but we can drool.  I guess it is so we can really sell the whole mindless thing.  Psht, like I'm mindless!  I'm just as smart as.......as.....uhm.........A SPARROW!!  Yeah.  Did you know they could....uhm...fly at winter...damn.  They have........seriously they are!

Don't look at me like that.

Crap.  That sounded better in my head.

Anyways, as we were pounding on the glass, some Normies came down and looked out past the barricades at the horde gathered outside.  Whenever I saw one, I made sure to drool extra and pound furiously on the glass.  I was a good little zombie.  Of course, I prefer to call it living impaired.  Wait, no.  That sounds stupid.  Moving on.

The Normies started arguing amongst themselves until one calmed everyone and they started adding to the barricades.  I saw them stack up anything from heavy desks to a vending machine.  Suddenly, a piano crashed into the crowd.

WHAT THE BARNACLE BASTED BATSHIT BEHEMOTH BALLS?!

Really?!  What is with these people and pianos?!  Seriously?  How did they get it out and over us?  Screw that, what the hell was a freaking upright piano doing in an office building?!  How did I know what kind it was?

I think I am getting a little too familiar with pianos, don't you?

Completely forgetting to act like a zombie, I stared uncomprehendingly at the debris.  I think I have a nervous tick now.

My eye twitched.

Author's Note

I know it is not a Grand piano, but I couldn't resist.

Reviews

[unspokenguilt]

HA, your main character just dissed your title: " I prefer to call it living impaired. Wait, no. That sounds stupid." Love the alliteration btw!

[C. Rose]

"What is with these people and pianos?!" made me crack up. I keep imagining how your dialogue would also work in normal scenarios.