A Broken Heart

Have you ever had a broken heart? I mean really broken, not something you will forget about in a week, a month, maybe even a year. A broken heart that lasts the rest of your life? I have...

Our eighteen-year-old daughter had been missing for about a week. We had gotten a tip, that a girl, fitting her description, had been seen at a rundown motel in a neighboring city. My husband and I parked the car across the street from the motel, we waited and watched. We saw plenty of people going in and out, but no sign of our daughter.  After several hours, we gave up and drove home.

That is the night I realized that my daughter was, in all probability, dead.

I had heard lots of talk about broken hearts, but I never realized, you could physically feel your heartbreak. I cried uncontrollably for hours, I just couldn't stop. Every time I tried to wrap my mind around the thought of her being dead, I started in again. My heart felt like a sponge being wrung out, twisting and turning, tighter and tighter, until it tore in two.  My husband was so scared - I had never been the type to come unhinged. I refused to go to the hospital, so he went and got some medication - which he insisted I take.  The medication stopped the crying and put me to sleep.

Never again, have I cried like that. Not on the day they found her body in a river, caught on a beaver dam, nor the day of her funeral with hundreds of friends, family, and sympathizers in attendance. I cried a lifetime of tears that night. Now I find, I am unable to cry, even when I know I should. Sometimes, I feel like an ice queen. There is only so much pain a person can take " the mind shuts down and won't allow any more.

The next time, you think your heart is broken, stop and think...is it really?

Reviews

[Diane]

Sometimes I think a frozen heart is a safe heart.
I haven't had this kind of loss and I pray I never will. I have had been heart broken from a loss not quite like you though. I never wanna feel it again. I would rather I go first then to feel like that, are the ache that lingers again.

[Wendy Seames Garner]

God has his reasoning for this kind of grief, though I'm not sure what it is, except to break us or make us stronger.

[Diane]

You make more since then I wendy

[MOON]

We use these words oh so lightly, we have no idea what real loss is. God Bless!

[Tina Kline]

A very tragic story indeed. I don't doubt that your heart is broken but I'm thinking also you've been wounded, a great big hole of a wound in you that will never heal. I believe that can be true as well.

[Marie]

How very, very sad. I am so sorry for you loss; I could not endure losing my daughter. It must have taken a great deal of courage to write this.

[emmajoy]

(((Wendy)))

[AK]

A broken heart, it must feel really bad.... Don't feel like an Ice Queen, I don't cry too often either, but when I cry I cry my heart out xD. This piece though small in size carries enormous strength with it. Keep writing!