Chapter One: Wherein We Learn of Grasshopper's Predicament, Which is Expounded by Fish's Taunting

Chapter One: Wherein we learn of Grasshopper's predicament, which is expounded by Fish's taunting

"I'm hungry," Grasshopper said. "Have been. Will be." He took off his old top hat with one thin hand as he scratched his head. "My head, it hurts. It aches. Headaches." He sat on the ground, leaning his malnourished frame against a pebble.

Fish was perched in the top branches of the Wormwood Tree. He nodded. "You should have listened to Ant."

"I don't want to hear that name!" Grasshopper lamented. "There's an easy way out of this, I just have to find it."

"Always taking the easy route isn't very noble," Fish said.

Grasshopper scoffed. "That's easy to say, up there in your tree. Maybe you should come down here and help me find food."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Very much, I would," Grasshopper puffed vehemently on his unlit corncob pipe. "Because I know all about you, Fish."

"Oh?" Fish fluttered to a lower branch in the Wormwood Tree, listening intently.

"Yes. I heard through very reliable sources that if one manages to catch you..." Grasshopper said, and paused. He thought for a moment as he adjusted his position against the pebble. "Well, it's just rumor."

Fish hopped down to a lower branch, almost the last. "Tell me! What have you heard?"

"Nevermind that. It's only conjecture," He grinned slightly.

"Tell me, tell me, tell me!" Down to the very lowest branch Fish leaped. Before Fish had the opportunity to appropriate his weight on his newest perch, Grasshopper pounced up, his powerful hind legs propelling his vertical ascent. He reached out, clutching for Fish.

 

Fish was too quick, however, and as Grasshopper's skinny hands reached, Fish fluttered back to the top branches. "You have a reputation, Grasshopper," Fish said as Grasshopper landed in a frustrated huff. "I've heard you are untrustworthy."

"Oh?"

"Yes! And you live up to it in spades."

"I don't think," Grasshopper said snidely. "That you are using that phrase correctly."

"I don't think I care. I also don't think that trying to catch me is going to solve your problems," Fish said.

Grasshopper sighed and picked up his corn cob pipe. "I heard catching you does, in fact, solve problems."

"Have you?"

"I have. I've heard. Heard things," Grasshopper said, adjusting his top hat. "I've heard you are magic."

"That's what you've heard? That's stupid!" Fish chirped. "There's no such thing as magic, Grasshopper."

"But I've heard! I've heard that, if caught," Grasshopper's voice lowered. "You'd grant a wish."

Fish scoffed.

"Do not deny it, my friend," Grasshopper insisted. "I've heard."

"From whom?" Fish fluttered down a few branches to listen closely.

"From a source! A source! Nevermind who," Grasshopper shouted. "I will capture you, Fish. And you will grant me my wish!"

"Your disappointment is going to be inversely proportional to your determination to catch me, Grasshopper."

"Grasshopper laughed. "You're scared! Don't try to confuse me. I'm not confused! Don't convolute! You're being convoluted." He began to walk away, talking over his chitin shoulder. "I'll get my wish yet..."