So I’s laying in bed, right? Just laying, trying to
sleep. Got a thing tomorrow I gotta do, there’s always something I
gotta do. Damn wife ain’t gonna make no money. So I’m here at some crap
motel in Poughkeepsie doin’ a overnight job downtown. Got this contract
for sewer pipes that’s drivin’ me crazy. They got these zonin’ laws
down here that just man. Make me wanna kill somebody. But yeah, layin’
in bed. Got done watchin’ this special of Yaz. Been watchin’ the Sox
since I was 5. My daddy took me to this game where Yaz hit his 44th
home run that year, what was that? ’66? ’67? I dunno. Somethin’ like
that.
Anyway, some guy starts bangin’ on my window like he owns the
place, right, and I’m saying, “Who is this guy?” It’s like 2 am at this
point. I can never sleep at these places, can’t concentrate, you know?
Got too many distractions. Seriously, this joker starts just bangin’ on
the window like he’s tryin’ ta bust it in. I get outta bed. I’m still
wearin’ my clothes cuz I forgot to pack pajamas. Damn wife’s supposed
to handle that. Soon’s I stand up and flick on the light this guy stops
beating’ on the window. I walk over to it and look out there, and there
ain’t anybody there, seriously. I unlock the door and open it. Shoulda
brought my Ted Williams bat, might havta crack some skulls out here, if
ya know what I mean.
I look around, it’s dark and no one’s there.
Where’d this putz get off to? So I’s pretty ticked off, ya know? I have
a hard enough time at some dive away from my bed at home. So’s I lay
down again, flip on the tv again. I’m pretty much thinkin’ at this
point I’m gonna be up all night. And wuddya know, here’s this
commercial for some girly thing called, get this, Yaz. Yeah, no lyin’!
I guess it’s some thing or pill or somethin’ for girls. I dunno I
didn’t pay attention cuz right then that joker’s back beatin’ on my
window again. Seriously. So’s I get up again and run to the door an’
open it fast gettin’ ready to bust some heads. Nothin’ there.
So’s I’m
thinkin’ you know, what’s goin’ on here? Some sorta ghost or somethin’?
So’s I hide behind the window curtain and wait for this guy to pop back
up and start bangin’ away again. Nothin’ happens, I start noddin’ off.
Start dreamin’ of a high stack a’ flapjacks. With blueberries. And
butta. Lots a’ butta. Next thing I know, BANG! Joker at the window
again, guess I fell asleep a lil. Scared me to high hell.
I run outside
again and there’s this ‘lil bird laying there on the sidewalk, flappin’
around like it’s stupid or somethin’. This the guy makin’ all that
noise out here? Looks like he knocked himself loopy bangin’ into my
window. After a little bit of flappin’ in a circle on the pavement it
settles down, tired out. It starts squawkin’ all scared soundin’. I
start feelin’ bad. I had this golden retriever when I was a kid back in
Beantown. Named it Yaz, after you-know-who. He got his from a car one
day when I was 6 or somethin’. Couldn’t handle it, my daddy had to put
it in his car and drive off. I asked him where’s he goin’ and he just
tells me it’s gonna be ok. He comes back without Yaz about an hour
later and he tells me he’s at the dog hospital. ’Cept days go by and
Yaz never comes back, then my daddy shows up one day after work with a
puppy. I figured it out after awhile. I might be from Boston but I
ain’t an idiot.
So’s I’m lookin’ at this lil birdie, a lil brown and
grey guy, pretty dull. I scoop him up and look at him. I can’t tell if
he just knocked himself stupid or if he broke somethin’. I got nothin’
in the room to help him out so’s I get in my car and put him in the
passenger seat. I thought about bucklin’ him in, which made me laugh.
Ha, my lil birdie navigatuh, navigatin’ me straight into a window.
I
drive to this 24 hour drug store place down the street and ask the guy
what to do. He don’t know, of course. He don’t even wanna touch him.
Says he’s got all these diseases. Whateva, I tell ’im, gimme some gauze
or somethin’. I by this cheap pair a sandals for the box and make this
lil nest in there and set him in all gently. I think he’s startin’ to
come to and it gets pretty easy to see he’s favorin’ his right wing. So
I go back in an’ by a popsicle, for the stick, and I’m tryin’ to get
the stick out but it’s a lot harder when you ain’t eatin’ it. I make a
lil splint like I learned in boy scouts and put him back in the box. I
tell him he better try relaxin’ if he wants to eat worms or whateva he
does again.
So then I drive back to the motel and get this it’s on
fire. Yeah, I know, right? Just burnin’ away. Fire trucks and
everythin’ just goin’ to town. I’m sittin’ in my car just watchin’.
After a few minutes I get out and tell the birdie just sit there a
minute. I grab a fireman and ask him what the hell. He tells me there’s
some explosion in room 3, he thinks it was a gas leak or somethin’. I
get chills cuz 3 was my room. Lil birdie saved my life by bein’ a bad
flyer. I go back to my car to tell him thanks and tell him I was gonna
go find some seeds for him to eat to pay him back but he’s gone, flew
out my window. I’m just starin’ at the box filled with gauze and a popsicle stick and the fireman tells me to move my car cuz there’s bringin’
in another truck. I just get in and drive straight home. The sewers can
fix themselves. I got this feelin’ I need to give my wife a hug and ask
her how she’s doin’.