SUMMER 2006 COLLECTION

a bunch of poems from 4 years ago. please read them all.

INSOMNIAC-

there is a boy
we will call him johnny
who doesnt like to sleep
he says his dreams are far too deep
the simple thought of waking
makes him weep for days and days.
he claims his hiding place was taken
by a woman wearing black,
on a cold october morning
seven a.m. slap.
with a holy book that he calls dread
she told him twice or thrice
that without it, he'd be dead.
so johnny sleeps with one eye open
reminiscing of his former rest
and if you see him walking blindly
to and fro between the windows
tell him not of God, its for the best.
..................................................

NEW YORK-

Im laying face down

Not pretending

Covered in mud and crud

Splayed out like an animal

And we all feel the blood

Seems black as night

Feel all the sneers and jeers

And we're wrapped in every fear

We ever knew.

And the colors don't mean anything anymore

Im in new york,

Im in paris,

Now im in a bed.

My friends, your friends,

Everybody's friends are suggesting

That and pointing at this.

How do we know where we are

When we don't know where to go?

How do we justify what we are

When our peers regulate our ears

Then fill us with surrogate years

And lie to us and say to us

We ought not shed our tears?

.................................................

WINTER-

i dont remember

the first time i tasted hot chocolate

but i do remember

fresh lit matches

burning first the paper,

then the wood.

the smell of winter.

snow so pregnant with twigs and rocks

that we no longer threw snowballs,

we threw the cold sting of november.

i remember the hassle of boots

and the way my skin tingled

when the heat of the fire hit me.

i was too young to know

what beauty was.

but i loved the way it smelled.

it smelled like hot chocolate.

.................................................

GREENER PASTURES-

today i feel like writing pictures
instead of words.
letters are late,
pictures make up for lost time.
i want to tell you why i love
water that isnt clean.
i want to day dream about
rescuing an ugly girl.
i want to breathe in
the ashes of nagasaki
still floating in the air.
i like the way
we seem like black hearts
instead of the purple ones on tv
i like the way that we are not greener pastures
but instead we are
the beautiful trash
scattered on the highway.
i like the way we feel
when the world thinks we're alone.

.....................................................

HOW ABOUT A CONCEPT?-

so tired of all these
goddamn romance movies
all those barbie dolls and kens.
filler material
eat this drink those
watch that.
lets see if we can teach
the chimps to do it.
lets see if we can sell
a little more sex
a little more violence
a little more modern cliche
mom and dad said
"how about a concept?"
and i said no.
because growing up scares me.

.......................................................

RAIN!-

its raining hard now
every drop coming down
like a falling piano.
uh oh, the ropes broke
better move your cars,
ladies and gentlemen.
we never cry due to the rain,
instead we scream under the weight
of the silence it brings.

......................................................

ROSE RED-

rose red,

why do you hide from us?

why do you root yourself

among the weeds?

do you seek them out to

make yourself look beautiful?

or do you wish to bring a little light

into their decaying world?

rose red,

why do you cower in fear

of the curious boys and girls?

are not the purest of hands

good enough for you?

if your petals are torn

they will grow back.

rose red,

you should not fear

the touch of a stranger

for it is their words

that harm you.

............................

THE COLLECTORS-

Presently,

They are on every street corner

Dead birds singing old songs

Strung for miles between your nightmares

The messengers are carrying

Garbage cans now

Knocking on doors

Collecting the pictures people used to love

And today we will settle for imitations

Fake sugar in a cheap bowl

Made in china

My doctor told me

Not to listen to my chiropractor

And my chiropractor told me

Not to listen to my doctor

And both will tell you

To watch out for the men

Who are dressed to kill

With polished shoes and

Million dollar tuxedoes

They take pride in stealing you away

In the form of a memory

Your dreams are no longer yours

Your pictures belong to them now

Pacing circles in your walls

Gravity has no control over fear

Up the stairs

Down the stairs

There is no telling when they will arrive

And they will not stop

Until they take what is owed

Until the dead birds halt their music

And your pictures are taken away in a truck

......................................................................

DO NOT GO SO QUIETLY-

Your obituary will read

killed by a pastry truck,

And no one will ever know your pain

Your regrets, or even your triumphs.

Unlock the door and take a walk

Outside while the sidewalks

Still welcome your feet.

I cant tell you how long youve got

But it isnt forever, so suck it up

And tell the world

Your dark secrets, your mysteries

Or else we will have one more face to miss

And nothing else.

...............................................................

IDIOT BEAUTY-

someone will have to rewrite

the definition of beauty

because today the s****y weather was beautiful.

because that painful look on your face was beautiful.

that rock, that tree, that homeless crazy guy,

hell, even my own damn toilet was beautiful.

i was so happy i could have stared at my

tea for hours, the way the dark spots

stayed at the bottom and i had to

keep stirring it.

my horrible painting is beautiful

the way the lights flickered when

my roommate turned on the vaccum.

the bare walls and

garbage on my floor.

that weird little hole in the glass

on your front door was beautiful.

today i wont worry about

those half-built model airplanes,

my failed history class

or my lack of clean socks.

i wont worry that i can

trust fewer people than i have fingers.

i wont worry about getting old and fat.

and if a gun was pointed at my face,

i think i would stop to admire the beauty of it

and die with an idiot grin still on my face

because today i got to watch you fall asleep.

...............................................................

LEFT BEHIND-

We grew up and left

Every last toy to wither and die

On the side of the road.

Fifty years later, everyone is

Trying to rebuild their childhood

With a collection of half rotted pieces.

I must remember to wind up my heart today

So that I can feel.

Twist, twist. Kathump, kathump.

Some days I forget and

I feel like a damn zombie

Wandering aimlessly.

Shuffle, shuffle. Groan.

And every time I do forget

Its as though someone has

Left me on the side of the road

And I am just one more useless toy

Collecting dust, trapped in a box

With a bunch of green army men.

March, march, march, march.

Around in circles inside a cardboard prison.

......................................................................

LIGHT-

Dont you feel

Just a little remorse

For the dying street lamps?

Dont you feel tears well up

When you see them fade

Under the glow of the midnight sun?

With no star shine to keep them

Smiling on their deathbed,

They de-illuminate, knowing

That they are only accessories

To something much greater.

.....................................................

DARK ROOM-

You had to ask didnt you

One more time around the forest of monsters

They left your bed and closet

When we all grew up

There are new ones waiting

In dark alleys, restaurants, bars

And the whole time

The mailman just continued to stare

i dont like these ones,

they arent going after the children anymore.

So what if the sky is blue today?

Can you prove it will be so tomorrow?

No, so shut up and be glad your room is clean

No place for the shadows to hide.

Nothing for the boogey man to swallow up tonight.

..............................................................................

TIN MEN-

im going to kill all of the tin men tonight

they invade my sanctuary of dirt

and its getting to me

day by everlasting day.

im imagining garbage cans and grey streets

to be a possible home.

i can picture selling my soul

for a turkey sandwich

gossip amongst the tortured geniuses

i dont belong and they know it.

lets dream of the impossible

ask not what your universe can do for you

but what you can do for your universe.

i want to belong.

decaf or regular?

what in the name of the virgin mary's first orgasm

do coffee houses and jazz music

have to do with killing tin men?

because thats all our pictures add up to, really.

some people kill them by singing,

others, by designing a house.

i choose to let them come,

and stay at my doorstep

so i might kill them all in one sitting.

no need for nightmares

when the monsters are real.

every midnight

crack crunch

scrape thump

they want in, but i dont think

even they know why.

maybe if i let them in they will tell me.

maybe they want to belong somewhere too.

.......................................................................

I HATE SCHOOL DANCES-

Behind our large ungainly eyes

Our light fantastic smiles do trip

With laughter everafter

But that laughter shown not on the lips.

Weary faces crooked yes

We dance to our dismay

As we cannot let another

See the inner child at play.

Gears are turning burning bright

Inside the mind it seems

I will not be a jolly fool

For I fear your mockery indeed.

See me sway to and fro

A simple robot running blind

I will not let you see me

Leave my dignity behind.

So if it seems that in this place

I may be boring, dull or rude

Rest assured outside these doors

That I will jump and scream for you.

...........................................................

THE HEAT DOES THINGS TO YOU-

I am sick.

Sick from this heat.

They make it by bottling

The fear of my daydreams.

I reek profusely of it and they

Burn me with my own stench.

3 days now, with that

other music stuck in my head.

Nothing but a distant shrill heartbeat

Of all that the dirt is made of.

Dead, decaying things

We dont know you,

But we love the way your bones taste!

Shout the birds in the dying tree

I was never afraid of them until now.

If I stop thinking of stabbing my friend,

Will the birds fly away?

Will the dying tree grow again?

Will there be no more musical visions

Of burying myself alive?

With the money I make by telling the truth

I think I can buy all those bottles

Of unnerving insecurity, my fears

And drink them all up and then

They will have nothing

To keep me sick with.

Yeah, thats what Ill do.

.........................................................

DREAM POLICE-

When every glass house

Is the same shade of nothing

Its hard to tell friend from foe

Neighbor from nemesis.

The rain dogs bark at midnight

And your gardens turn into

Transparent deathtraps

You worked so hard to keep them alive.

For what? A chance to beak the tradition of mediocrity?

8 am is breakfast time

Watch the television and get your fill.

Noon comes and for lunch its the radio.

Cant remember the last time you

Saw a tree in person, much less a star.

White shirts and black ties haunt me

But its the man in a mix of greys, me,

Who does the damage.

Dont tempt me with red letter promises

I took one once and found the answer

To a riddle, and was riddled with words

Then with bullets,

Adding insult to injury.

At night the watchmen steal my vision.

I want to leave, but I cannot see

To find my way home.

When dreaming I walk the streets

In search of car wrecks

But the dream police wont let me die.

I dont know whos in charge here,

But they eat your eyes, always looking

For new ways to see the world.

They are consuming us like fire consumes wood

We are burning in a televised prison camp.

Tending to our wounds in secret.

8 am is wake up time

Watch a man being erased and get your fill

Noon comes and its the sirens now

Cant remember the last time you

Heard a voice, much less singing.

There is no music here.

This bad city is full of bad men

And every day they are stealing me away

Piece by precious piece.

...................................................................

RANTING-

let me consume your eyes again

and shine on my insides with them

lest i become consumed by them

for i am all but mad with madness.

i love the way the sun shines on only

the dirty parts of my hands, its perfect

like your favorite movie

except your completely alone

and the candlewax melts too slowly.

i hereby take back all my wishes

and now i wish to sell them

to the highest bidder.

going once, going twice,

now its time to rewind life

so as to not make myself out to be a liar.

....................................................................

HEARTBEAT-

There is a heartbeat in here

Stone cold bricks and mortar

Falling like dead birds

Thump, crack

Thump, crack

It hurts my ears

And worries my eyes.

Empty wheelchairs racing

Wooden doors slamming, breaking

And the harsh whisper of the world

And the trees desperately trying to

Penetrate the windows.

There is man in a tin suit

There are two men in tin suits

Now there are three, now 4,

Now there are a million men in tin suits

Lined up outside the school where

You left your favorite color

And they are going to steal it.

The world is like an apple

You can throw it away, but once you

Take a bite out of it, its inside of you

And your inside of it.

The heartbeat continues and

It does not care if it

Causes you great pain

It must continue beating

You plug your ears with fingers, songs

And guns and still you hear it

Meanwhile, birds circle overhead

Because they can hear it too.

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HOLY S**T THAT WAS A LOT OF POETRY!!!

hope you enjoyed it!!!!