Hal's Eyes

Charlotte walked briskly toward the neighborhood pool to staple the last of the posters to the fence. She carefully stapled the color poster, laminated for protection from rain, between the hand drawn wanted poster for Barney, a yellow tabby, missing since last Tuesday, and a black and white reward poster for Jiggles, an ancient looking black Lab, with the words ‘needs medication' in bold, block letters. She stood back to inspect her work,certain the vivid color of Hal's auburn coat and the glisten in his amber eyes would catch the attention of the summer pool goers. Tears stung her swollen eyes and threatened to stream down her face for the umpteenth time in the last day.

A sense of dread enveloped her while walking home to the empty house, yet she naively hoped someone might have already seen one of the posters and left a message on her machine. She walked the three blocks home, ignoring the neighbors she had never met and their children playing along the way. As she walked in the front door and hung the leash she'd carried, just in case she found him, on it's designated peg, she noted with disappointment the message light was dark - no calls. What to do now? She'd already placed a lost dog ad in the local paper, posted a message and picture on several websites, and stapled posters in every conceivable spot in a five mile radius. She felt alone, helpless.

Hal had been her companion, her friend, her family for three years. She happened upon the Adoption Day at the local animal rescue organization quite by accident. It never occurred to her to adopt a pet of any sort, much less a shedding, pooping, unruly hulking brute of a dog. She stopped at the art supply store to buy some new brushes and had to walk past the pens and crates in the parking lot where the adoption event was held. She stepped up her pace to quickly get past the barking, whining and the unpleasant odor when she noticed a dog in a large crate looking intensely at her. Not just at her but into her. His fur was the most incredible auburn color she'd ever seen, and his eyes where yellowish amber and rimmed with black. Compelled to come closer, she peered into the pen at him. His bushy tail gently thumped and he raised his head slightly to get a better look at her, as if sizing her up.

A lady wearing an Adoption Day T-shirt noticed her. "That's Hal. He's a good boy, kinda wild. Do you have a fence?"

"Oh, I can't take him. I'm just walking in to get something."

"That's too bad. Hal's been here a couple of years. Can't seem to find a good match for him. Don't know why. He's great with kids, and he's housetrained. You have kids?"

"No, no kids."

The woman, knowing a sucker when she saw one, opened the door to the pen and snapped a leash onto Hal's collar. Before she knew what was happening, Hal bolted out of the pen and immediately jumped and placed his huge feet on Charlotte's shoulders and licked her face.

"Seems to like you," she said.

Charlotte was overwhelmed. She'd never had a dog, didn't have a clue what dogs were like except that this one was big and friendly.

The lady in the t-shirt said, "Would you like to fill out an application?"

************

Charlotte sat in the quiet study, looking at Hal's bed in the corner. The shape of his sleeping body was imprinted on the soft, worn fabric, and a coating of red fur completed the outline. His well worn tennis ball peeked out from under his bed. She closed her eyes and imagined him there, sleeping his peaceful yet active sleep, full of dreams of chasing squirrels, catching the ball, barking at birds, and perhaps all sorts of dog things he remembered from before her time.

She often wondered what his life was like before she found him. Today she remembered too well what her life had been like. The loneliness washed over her like a sudden rogue wave, knocking her from her tenuous perch and into a sea of sadness. She felt as if she would die, having never experienced such powerful feelings. She played over every scenario in her mind, imaging him alone and afraid, panicking at the thought of him hurt or even dead. If he was lost, what would happen to him on his own? What would happen to her without him? She lay down on Hal's bed, smelling his smell, and sobbed until her burning eyes could no longer cry, until merciful sleep allowed some respite.

Awaking an hour or so later, she felt oddly calm. The intense sadness remained, augmented by a numbness, despair. Having never suffered any loss, she was not sure of the proper terminology. She wandered around the house, not knowing what to do with her time. She couldn't imagine eating. For the first time in three years, she felt absolutely alone. Popular psychology would suggest she confide in good friends to console her and help her work through her grief. Hal was her only friend and he was gone. She had no one to talk to, no friends, and certainly no family who would care to hear her sad story or comfort her.

Remembering her reaction to the atmosphere in the study, she sat at the kitchen table, trying to ignore the shiny aluminum bowls by the back door that held Hal's food and water, fearing another round of tears. Yet it seemed the tear factory was closed. The numbness seemed even worse. She tried to think rationally, tried to craft a plan of action for the ‘next phase,' now that the immediate tasks of newspaper ad, internet posting and distributing laminated posters had been completed.

In a moment of clarity, she remembered the list of animal shelters. She called them all last night to ask them if they found an auburn Husky mix, sixty pounds, amber eyes, wearing a blue collar with a heart shaped name tag engraved with "Hal" and her phone number. Explaining that she left to go to the grocery, and didn't know the gate to the fence was open. She'd only been gone a half an hour but when she got home, Hal was gone. He couldn't have gotten very far. She felt awkward explaining, telling the same story over and over on each phone call, but strangely relieved to be able to talk to someone, to hear a friendly, sympathetic voice. She hastily grabbed the list from the notepad by the phone. After ten minutes she had called them all again, and none of them had taken in a dog resembling Hal. In each call, she could hear the cacophony of dogs barking in the background and her heart ached to think of all those misplaced or discarded dogs. No tears this time, just emptiness.

She could stand the barren house no longer, and grabbed the leash from the peg, slid her cell phone in the pocket of her shorts, and headed out the front door. She could do no good just sitting around the house feeling sorry for herself. She turned right after leaving the house, and realized she had not been on this section of her street in the five years she had lived here. She always drove into the neighborhood, turned right onto her street, and pulled in her driveway four houses on the right. She'd never had a reason to drive past her house.

She walked quickly, feeling better just for doing something. The heat of the day was intense, yet the feel of the sun baking her skin was immeasurably better than the hollowness she had been feeling. She looked from side to side as she walked thinking maybe Hal would just appear from nowhere and this nightmare would be over. She called, "Hal! Come Hal!" now and again as she walked, clapping her hands and whistling. She continued down the street, turning left onto another street she never knew was there. Several children played in the street, and when they heard her calling "Hal!" they all ran up to her.

A small, blonde haired girl, maybe six or seven years old, said, "Is that your dog on the poster at the pool?"

Charlotte stopped and surveyed the troop of children, and said, "Yes, that's my dog. His name is Hal."

The little girl said, "He's pretty. Is he a nice dog?"

"Yes, he's a very nice dog. He's the best dog." She didn't expect it, but the tears were back, in force. Thankfully she still had the crinkly tissue, still damp from this morning. She dabbed her eyes, and tried not to cry in front of these children who she'd never met.

"Can we help you find him?" The other kids chimed in "We can help! We know all the secret places!"

Charlotte was overcome again with tears, and sat down on the curb, all the children crowded around her. The blonde girl said, "I lost my kitty last winter and I cried so hard! We looked everywhere and it was cold and I thought she would freeze to death. But we found her under the house and she is just fine. So don't cry."

Charlotte wiped her eyes and nose and for a brief moment wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of the scene - a grown woman crying like a baby in front of a bunch of little children. But after she'd spent the last day without a friend in the world, after losing the only friend she had - the one who didn't judge her, never let her down, and loved her completely- these children offered her help and hope.

She stood up and brushed the sand from her shorts. The children surrounded her, peering up at her excitedly, ready to spring into action for a mission of the utmost importance. Seeing the optimism in their faces filled her with energy and resolve. "Where are the secret places?"

An hour later, after searching in the woods around the neighborhood, behind bushes, under cars and behind storage sheds, Charlotte trudged reluctantly back toward her lonely house. The enthusiasm she felt as she and the children began their search for Hal was replaced by a somber, funereal gloom which chilled her even in the ninety-degree summer heat. Tyler, the blonde haired girl who befriended her, steadfastly accompanied her even when all the other children tired of the search. As Charlotte walked slowly up the hill toward her house, Tyler continued darting from one side of the street to the other, checking here and there, crouching to look under shrubs, whistling and clapping her hands. "Hal! Come ‘ere Hal!"

"No luck today, Tyler. I guess you better go on home now."

"It's okay. We'll find him. We can look again tomorrow."

"Sure. I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks for helping me look."

Charlotte watched as Tyler headed back down the street to her home. As she turned onto her street, she smiled and waved back at her.

She had to admit, even though she hadn't found Hal, she enjoyed the time spent with the neighborhood children. She felt better just being with them, listening to their earnest conversation and feeling a part of their lives, even for the afternoon. The feeling of belonging left her unsettled, and now that she was alone again, she suddenly felt very tired.

As she crested the hill, she saw Hal, sitting on her front porch in the shade, as if he'd just come home from a short walk.

Reviews

[Gretchen Clarke]

This is an amzing piece, with a touching ending. Poor Charlotte, to have only Hal to comfort her, and then have him suddenly dissappear like that. I'm glad that the story ends well for Charlotte.
Keep up the great work!