ATISHOO!

That foul pestilence...

I’ve come down with another cold!

My husband is to blame.

He came down with it on Monday,

So now I’ve done the same.

I know that when you’re married

You should share your goods and wealth,

But his germs are one thing

I wish he’d keep all to himself.

 

My head is full of cotton wool,

My nose runs like a tap,

My throat’s as rough as sandpaper,

I really feel like crap!

My body aches from head to toe,

I’m in a lot of pain,

I feel like I am dying,

But I’m not one to complain.

 

I’ve dosed myself with Lemsip,

Got some Strepsils for my throat,

To stop myself from shivering,

I’m sleeping in my coat.

I’ve rubbed some Vick’s all over,

It is such a soothing balm.

I exude so much vapour

I’ve set off the smoke alarm!

 

Because my nose is blocked,

I didn’t sleep a wink last night.

Air rattled up my left nostril,

And whistled down my right.

I’m not going to work,

Though they’ll be cross if I’m not there,

But to spread this round the office -

That just would not be fair!

 

I always meet those people

Who say “Here’s what you should do,

Just take some echinacea,

And you’ll never have the flu!”

While others swear by garlic,

Or red onion with honey,

Or horseradish - I’ve tried them all,

So why’s my nose still runny?

We’re living in a golden age

Of science and invention,

Advancements in technology

Too numerous to mention.

But listen, all you scientists,

If I may make so bold,

If you’re so bloody clever,

Then please, cure the common cold!

 

Author's Note

If you enjoyed this poem, why not check out my new book entitled, ‘Things Can Only Get Verse' - a collection of humorous poems on a variety of subjects, including: social network addiction, self-service checkout machines, having a hangover, internet dating, dieting, online auctions, getting older, and more. Available on Amazon for only £4.00/$6.00. Life is more fun when it rhymes!

Reviews

[emmajoy]

' But listen, all you scientists, - If I may make so bold, - If you’re so bloody clever, - Then please, cure the common cold!'

How many people have said that.. but none as cleverly and wittily as you. Brilliant! .

Right now I'm needing some fun medication, Viv... and you've just given me a high enough dosage to keep me giggling for the rest of the week.. This is such fun!! Plus, your meter really is so fine.. that;s something i'm hopeless at so am full of admiration..

[Viv Wade]

Thanks Emmajoy, I'm glad you enjoyed it! They do say laughter is the best medicine, and it doesn't have any nasty side effects!

[emmajoy]

How very, very true. Just had another quick read.. am smiling into the morning...

[JoeM]

Hear,hear, to your last sentiment. You've done it again, I laughed, and happy that you wrote it.

[Viv Wade]

Thanks Joe, I'm glad you found my suffering funny, sniff... :)

[Gee]

This has a Pam Ayres feel to it.Nicely done

[Viv Wade]

Thanks Gee - I'm a big fan of Pam Ayres, so you couldn't have paid a better compliment!

[Gee]

My pleasure