Kiss of Life

Random poem

Allow me to exchange breaths with you

Inhaling the toxins that have made you pale

Pulling out the doubt that has made you frail

 

Allow me to exchange breaths with you,

Releasing your white blood cells

Eliminating your impurities

And boosting your immunity

 

Allow me you exchange breaths with you

My breath detoxifies you

Provides your blood with more oxygen

Gives you the strength to breath deeply

 

Allow me to exchange breaths with you

Soothe your racing pulses of fear

Energize your fading pulses of life

Revitalizing your heart beat

 

Inhale love deeply, hold, and exhale life.

Author's Note

First poem in a very long time. Fell free to dissect it.

Reviews

[Pharaoh]

I like the idea a lot, and I appreciate the concept, but I think you pushed it a little too hard. A lot of the ideas seem forced to me, like they were just written in, not flowing together in a single thought. The science is too much, it just seems like a serial killer or something, unless that was what you were going for. It's very obsessive sounding.

[Flo]

Lovely piece of writing, You're pretty good!
-Flo

[TAO]

hmmm... I wonder if this is what it was like for God? First poem in a very long time? Well done.

[Ramiz Ilham Khan]

I liked how the physical touch also somehow points at purity at a spiritual level. I liked it. The sheer simplicity of the depth. :-)

[Art Sun]

A metaphysical exchange...the energy of the Universe is all about how to grasp it and how to use it in a positive way...I see you are seeking this path...

nice work...

[Onyx_Rayne]

I love the mix of this piece...on one hand it seems to speak of the exchange of carbon dioxide and oxygen... exchanging what we breath out for what is our life's breath. On the other hand, it is sultry and romantic and , very obviously about the rejuvination of being in love.

The stanzas flow perfectly, one into the next...and the poem is very unique...totally creative.

I loved it :)

[Cassi M.]

I love the medical terms you used in this poem. It created a surreal essence. I loved it

[Dream Weaver]

Allow me to say this was beautifully crafted.
I enjoyed this very much Viva...

[Joshua Donahue]

wow. really nice. this poem couldn't have been titled anymore conveniently than it is. it's beautiful. it has that strange mixture of scientific vocabulary such as "white blood cells" and "immunity" which work well together with the word "life" (hence the title). love it!