Depression

A Poem by Mia

Slam poetry or spoken word about my depression.

I was 12 when I first became aware that I had depression. I entered the 7th grade feeling hopeful, yet that year was anything but. People all around the school would laugh and stare because I wasn’t like other people. No, I had wide hips, and belly that jetted out, and my thighs would flatten out to be bigger than most girls. I went into a deep depression, which then resulted into cutting. When I was a little girl, I didn’t think my life would end up like this. This deep depression was only the first of many. I was in 8th grade when I got called a whale, worthless, no good, and a w***e. Rumors were also spread that I weighed 1,000 pounds. I don’t know what I did for everyone to hate me. Maybe if I were skinny people would like me. I’m just a punchline to every f*****g joke. Although there are other big girls, bigger than me, I still get picked on even though I play it safe wearing baggy T-shirts and pants. They still find a way to say my fat rolls came out to play. I know I have back rolls, I know I’m fat. I don’t need to be reminded that I have big thighs or a big stomach. I have to look in the mirror everyday and see what I have become. Everyone around me has made me hate myself, and wish I were a “pretty girl”, yet girls can be pretty even if they are big. I have depression and every waking day I fear people will tear me down even more than I tear myself down.