Numbness

How does it feel...not to feel?

You see the colours of the world, 

but everything is black and white

You either get up and do it or you don't,

there's no middle ground

Everybody's lost in a societal orchestra

and you're stuck in the audience 

But you don't applaud their performance, 

you just critique it

Why do they buy those? What good will they do?

What's the point of talking about that now?

What's so damned funny? Why don't you get the joke?

Why do people eat so much of that? Do they WANT to get fat?

You try to catch the fever, 

but it's like you have an immunity

And the more the people around you do it,

the more you wanna scratch yourself til you bleed

Your home is your island,

What little thrills you find, they come and go 

Pictures of the flesh, videos of the decadent

Digital escapism at its finest 

Even the things that should elicit joy 

only gnaw at the corners of your mind

You got a new job? You got a raise?

Big deal! So do lots of people every day!

You want to feel again, but you're so afraid

Disconnected, you waver in your resolve

And when you finally see the pit you're dug into,

the numbness fades, and you start to feel again

Author's Note

This is a poem about living with depression, and finding the will to come back from it. It's something I write from experience, particularly from within the past year.

Hope you all enjoyed it, and I can't wait to hear what you thought:)