Melatonin or Cabernet

A poet struggles with sleep while facing an uncertain future.

Melatonin or Cabernet

 

 

Shrieking volume from the twelve inch

Endless commercial interruptions

Pets insisting on fresh air

As agitations stir

 

Already bewildered with stress

Magnified by insecurities and unfamiliarity

Can’t read, can’t sit, can’t stand to talk about it

There will be no sleep tonight

 

Huddling unstill on cold steel porch chairs

Contemplating, dreading, assuming

The next day’s friendly confrontation

Towards an unforeseeable future

 

So many people have so much power

Over my life

So many laws govern the edges

Of my insomnia

Often times the only savior

Is a sip of red

Or three grams of white

 

Half an hour in front of the alphabet

Fragmenting emotions into sentences

Takes the edge off the edge

And clears the cot

 

The day winds up like a turbine for sixteen hours

How can we expect it to crash so quickly?

Yet the covers beckon and the eyes cloud

The chemicals have won

 

 

Learn more about Alex Hutchinson at:

www.SuburbanFiction.com

 

Author's Note

This poem is for an upcoming collection. Any comments might be used as advanced praise.

Reviews

[Mike Carson]

So many people have so much power

Over my life

So many laws govern the edges

Of my insomnia

I am finding this very much to my liking Alex...a parable for the modern age...especially with the close:

The chemicals have won

Very nice indeed! I have a link here you might want to take a look at...a partial list of my grandfather's writings...I just found it.

http://kitcarson.multiply.com/journal/item/264/From_The_Library_Of_Congress

[mysticgmekeepr]

"so many laws govern the edges of my insomnia"....great line. We give our power and our peace away to the left over turmoil of the day. Wonderful human piece from beginning to end. And I'll take the sip of wine.

[Dylan Cook]

I like this one a lot because of the imagery

[Adam Chambers]

Alex, this is an extremely tight poem. Nothing extra. I hit me like a punch in the chest. Solid and elegant. Very streamlined. With several moments of transcendence:
so many laws govern the edges of my insomnia...
half an hour in front of the alphabet... takes the edge off the edge...
huddling unstill on.... chairs
the day winds up.... crash so quickly...

I'm an admirer. Very good stuff

[Jet Lag]

--great lines, great emotions:

As agitations stir

Already bewildered with stress
Magnified by insecurities and unfamiliarity
Can't read, can't sit, can't stand to talk about it
(this is exactly how i feel today, overwhelmed, crushed under my own expectations, hindered by others')

Contemplating, dreading, assuming
The next day's friendly confrontation
(consumes even my dream life, which i hate. i fret even in my alcohol/melatonin/ambian sleep)

Often times the only savior
(and i hate counting on something i swallow to rescue me)

Fragmenting emotions into sentences
(it is a balm, but my mind cannot even settle to it anymore)

The chemicals have won
(and i lose but it is the only way to play until i can rise again)

thank you so much for this. it is truly worth the 100 rating and storage as a favorite.

[Raef C. Boylan]

"The day winds up like a turbine for sixteen hours
How can we expect it to crash so quickly?" - this, to me, seemed to be a comment on how presciptive everything is these days...8 hours sleep recommended every night. Also, on how strange an activity sleep is -something that occupies my mind frequently; we beckon unconsciousness every night, our bodies turn off and may or may not turn on again...and somehow it is accepted as natural? Crazy.
The direct question, rhetorical or not, works well to make the reader participate in the poem.

"Can't read, can't sit, can't stand to talk about it" - I know other reviewers have already commented on this, but I really admire the wordplay in this and how it has been penned.

Overall, the language of this is excellent, and the layout very appealing. I liked how you varied the middle stanza; it slowed the pace a little, made each line solid and focused.

I suffer from cycles of insomnia. I'm currently sleeping, but this spoke so true and reminded me of how bad it is when I can't, and how so many people out there are going though this.
You summed it up in such a way that it is almost a broad social commentary on everything that is bleak about contemporary lifestyles - "twelve inch"[materialism, obsession with gadgets - which make us antisocial], "Contemplating, dreading, assuming//The next day's friendly confrontation//Towards an unforeseeable future" [morbid contemplation is unavoidable, and futures uncertain], "The chemicals have won" [well, that sentence summarises Western society, doesn't it?]

Really great poem.
Thanks for posting it.

wow that made alot of sence and i wish the chemicals would let me sleep after long hours of the day... it was really good i like the "So many people have so much power
Over my life
So many laws govern the edges
Of my insomnia
Often times the only savior
Is a sip of red
Or three grams of white" part it speaks so clearly about alot of things.

[None]

It's hard to rest on your own with deadlines and so many thoughts to express. Sixteen hour days can take their toll. Your only choice is to turn it off and get some rest, at times we need help to do just that.
"So many people have so much power
Over my life
So many laws govern the edges
Of my insomnia"
I really like the way you wrote this, explaining and how "So many laws govern..." Clever and wonderfully written! The entire poem is easy to relate to. Your words hit deep.
My dog is asking to go out again now and I am reminded of your third line!!
All the best with your collection!

[@dan@]

And for sure Alex, it shall be praise. Always hard to sleep on cold steel porch chairs.
Very nice. So many laws govern the edges. I really liked that. The edges are the best point of reference
for a governing influence. whether insomnia or daring feats of survival, it keeps our balance when we need balance. Always nice to read your work.
dan

[PhoeniX]

well written. a tale not written by words but by the uncertainty of the poets feelings. loss of sleep, result of the insecurity of the poets life in the future. a different way to express the worries of life. the words used were greatly expressed. well done

[Charisma Moonfairy]

This is a very good piece of work. I think the way it flows is perfect and that you should not change a word or it or the way you write. That is just my opinion though.