Stubbornness

The reason why change is often a slow journey.

Staid, brush fire dry, coat jacket sweat

The doors and windows are open

But the air does not move

 

Outside cool

Fresh trickles of delight

Dance in the lungs and on the eyes

 

There is no collaboration

From the outside spring shower

To the closed in parched swallow

 

                                      Neither is set to change          

Neither has reason or leverage

Neither will benefit

 

Two environments only one step away

Each the cure to the other

Each forever apart

 

 

www.suburbanfiction.com

 

Reviews

[Misa]

Well, l didn't quite get it the first or second time l read it, but reading it out loud kind of helped. Must be honest, this is a new - and welcome - style of poetry for me, so l found it quite...intriguing. Since it's new, though, l'll not say too much aside from the fact that l enjoyed it, and found certain parts - 3rd stanza, the imagery in the first - quite amazing.
good job, and good luck.
~Misa

[Larissa G.]

This is a wonderful read. It has some fantastic ideas that a worded in a style that strikes the reader. Thank you for sharing this.

[Kathleen Marie]

This is excellent. You have some powerful lines here - "Fresh trickles of delight -- Dance in the lungs and on the eyes"... Excellent imagery.

[Lady Of Darkness]

Nice rhyme to this poem. I like the third stanza of this piece.
A beautiful write with imagery, filled with lovely descriptions.
Well done with this one.

[Cattie]

You are wonderfully written, Poet. Thank you for the invite, I shall look forward to our exchanges. Cattie

[Genie]

A grand metaphor for the way we treat each other much too often, I like the way you've crafted this so the words and all they conjure up can be personal or general.

[badgirl beth]

Certainly loads of color strokes with this one..brilliant,dark imagery with powerful movement..Bravo~it has been my pleasure~~~~Cheers:)

[syriascat]

I really liked this poem It had a nice rhyme to it .



regards

syriascat

[Too Simple a Simon]

I like the poem. It speaks of so many different stubbornnesses one can encounter. You express the dichotomy well. I wonder if some punctuation might help: e.g., from "To the closed in parched swallow" to "To the closed-in, parched swallow"? Just a thought.

T'SaS