Stubbornness

The reason why change is often a slow journey.

Staid, brush fire dry, coat jacket sweat

The doors and windows are open

But the air does not move

 

Outside cool

Fresh trickles of delight

Dance in the lungs and on the eyes

 

There is no collaboration

From the outside spring shower

To the closed in parched swallow

 

                                      Neither is set to change          

Neither has reason or leverage

Neither will benefit

 

Two environments only one step away

Each the cure to the other

Each forever apart

 

 

www.suburbanfiction.com

 

Reviews

[Misa]

Well, l didn't quite get it the first or second time l read it, but reading it out loud kind of helped. Must be honest, this is a new - and welcome - style of poetry for me, so l found it quite...intriguing. Since it's new, though, l'll not say too much aside from the fact that l enjoyed it, and found certain parts - 3rd stanza, the imagery in the first - quite amazing.
good job, and good luck.
~Misa

[deeps]

There is no collaboration
From the outside spring shower
To the closed in parched swallow

These lines say so much to me
to me it says in between the two
there is distance but also some freedom
Spreading wings and trying to fly.
It's a write to ponder on
I like this alot.

[lavenderlassie]

Very descriptive. I can feel the heat, I can feel the rain and smell it in the air.

[Debbie_Philly]

WOW .. what a deep and moving write. This is an amazing piece... and so well written !! BRAVO !!

[Rambling Prose]

The imagery in this piece (as I perceive it) speaks of the battle of the WILL to yield to that which we (by nature or resentment) resist. Whether it be a surrender of pride or the need to be in control - stubbornness more often than not, puts up a relentless fight.

Will I or Will I Not? That is the question.

Shakesphere will never know (shush) now will he...

This was a great piece about nature and the differences between being inside and out. I liked how you described each one. Very good!

[WritefromtheHeart]

Your description of this, as much as the poem, speaks volumes of the human spirit. Change is resisted, fought against often, even when it is good and necessary. Whenever there are outside forces at work is when change is fought the hardest...Oh how we fight against ourselves and make life so much harder than it has to be.

I felt this part was most telling:

Each the cure to the other
Each forever apart

[Drea]

Ah change is oft seen as a bad thing. Like two fronts colliding and producing a thunderous storm with the birth of electricity and tornado. But change is oft good and beneficial. Still change is stress they say; be it good or bad, so jaws set stubborn against it.

Your poem draws the picture simply as the two fronts meet face to face.
I like how your last line points to each being a cure for the other
but still in stubborn fear neither gives.

Nice work
blessings and Namaste
Rhiannon

its new to me and i like it i hope that you write more poetry like it, its kinda inspiring to write. and read more things like this. i lreally liked the imagrey in the third and last stanza too.

[Jane Doe]

Great use of metaphor here. I enjoyed reading this piece, it is very well written. Thanks for sharing!

[robin]

I write in a similar meta-metaphor. Your ability to bring me into the experiential is seductive, and I like the 50/50 way that these works can polarize readers responses. I'm new to the site and I write from inspiration the way that words fall together like a divination: something for the reader and something for the author.