Sorry Grandpa

A young man struggles with regret over his lost grandfather.

And so I didn't go to my grandfather's funeral
They would all be there, snickering, gossiping
My hair would be an issue, my career would be an issue
They would ask about my relationship
She's twelve years younger than me
They would cry, they would snivel
I would be the only person there to mourn
They would harangue, they would bicker
I didn't want to be the focal point
They would make me more important than him
And so I didn't go,
Sorry Grandpa.

Reviews

[jen -- JG]

No greater love does a grandson have than to allow the granpa he loved to keep his dignity in death.
The memories that last the longest and sting the most are the final goodbyes at the grave side. Sometimes the memories are better kept as living ones - laughing happy ones and then going at a later time to the grave side to remember and reflect in private.

A lovely poem showing the reasons why he didn't go, and that the love between granpda and grandson was so strong that the grandson knew his grandpa would understand.

Well done
Jen-JG

[distefano 401]

that was great. i can't say i relate to this personally, but the way you described it, i felt like i could really put myself in that position.

[Raef C. Boylan]

Hi. I got led back here from your SuburbanFiction site; by the way, the site works really well. Nice work there. I was checking out your books - considering buying one.
This piece, although told in a slightly distanced way, is actually all the more emotive because of that.

I felt like it could have done with some more punctuation, especially since there is a full stop right at the end; that makes the poem seem like it's all one sentence - which it could be I guess, but without the punctuation to indicate that, it seems like something's missing. I understand that the full stop is being used to add finality and impact to the last line.
If this was mine, I would have probably gone for something along the lines of:

"And so I didn't go to my grandfather's funeral.
They would all be there, snickering, gossiping;
My hair would be an issue, my career would be an issue.
They would ask about my relationship
[She's twelve years younger than me].
They would cry, they would snivel;
I would be the only person there to mourn.
They would harangue, they would bicker -
I didn't want to be the focal point.
They would make me more important than him,
And so I didn't go.
Sorry Grandpa."

Not loads and loads of punctuation, just a bit.
Alternatively, removing the full stop and leaving it open.
However, I'm thinking that you probably aren't looking for advice like this, as this piece is already published?
Just my opinion anyhow.

This worked for me; you give us plenty of insight into the narrator's family, through his thoughts and criticisms. My first funeral was my grandad's - his memory was overshadowed by arguments about the will, and me seeing my dad for the first time in 7 years, so I get where you're coming from with this.
I've written a poem about that funeral. I'll send you a link in case you fancy checking it out.

Thanks for posting this.
Good write.

[Skye Jules]

My parents would never let me go to a funeral because they didn't want me to be plagued with horrific dreams like my dad was when he was young. This is a really good poem, however. And the good thing about this poem is that a lot of people can relate to it.

[Mz. Rosilyn Vanessa]

My heart goes out to you, sorry for your lost. I also know what you are talking about when it comes to family. I honestly liked that piece because I can relate. I too wrote a poem about one of my loved ones.
Sorry about your lost.

[Dan Bullock]

Great stuff, it's crappy isn't it how other people's lives become more important than their own...or worse still....glaze over what's important and what is in front of them. Good writing, honest and open.

[EH Marcs]

'Ello! Just passing through!

I never liked funerals, which is why I can see myself in this piece. I like how you end it. Simple and honest. For there is really nothing else to say but ''sorry.'' This is the first I've read so far! I plan to read all of it and comment! Ta!

--E.H. Marcs--

[Arec]

You certainly have a way with with words. I think this happens at every funeral, there's always those who there just gosssiping or causing problems when they should be remembering their loved one, It's a shame that funerals have come to that.

Anyway off topic, a very powerful poem that brings to light some struggles that our society has nowadays with even such a things as a funeral. Thank you for sharing!

[waywithwords]

I can well understand how you came to write this beautiful poem. You know too well what others think and feel and know the actions from other experiences. Your grandfather would be so proud of you. At least you have your lovely memories locked away in your heart of gold. Beautiful just the same.

[sheilae]

the pain and longing flows from these words as strongly as the reason to forego..
he is with you..