A young man struggles with regret over his lost grandfather.
And so I didn't go to my grandfather's funeral
They would all be there, snickering, gossiping
My hair would be an issue, my career would be an issue
They would ask about my relationship
She's twelve years younger than me
They would cry, they would snivel
I would be the only person there to mourn
They would harangue, they would bicker
I didn't want to be the focal point
They would make me more important than him
And so I didn't go,
Sorry Grandpa.
No greater love does a grandson have than to allow the granpa he loved to keep his dignity in death.
The memories that last the longest and sting the most are the final goodbyes at the grave side. Sometimes the memories are better kept as living ones - laughing happy ones and then going at a later time to the grave side to remember and reflect in private.
A lovely poem showing the reasons why he didn't go, and that the love between granpda and grandson was so strong that the grandson knew his grandpa would understand.
your writing of this is very sad .I can understand a little of how you felt on not showing up there,I'm sure your grandpa loves you very much and he understood what you was feeling at that time.your grandpa see you was holding him in your heart weather there or not. thank you for sharing this write with me.just try to remember the great things about him every day and try not to let it bring you down cause he wouldn't want to see you feeling sad or regrets. thank you karen
Interesting parallel, I too, missed my grandfather's funeral for almost exactly the same reasons, save the career. I was only seventeen . We had been close but My rambunctiousness had changed all that. Today I have two grandsons of my own, I hope expectations never taint our love and respect for each other. Thanks for posting this, obviously got me thinkin'.
You know,I had this similar circumstance when my brother-in-law passed,whom I thought of more like a dad
than such.his kids weren't thinking of their mom or anything that should be considered at this time ,only what he had left behind and could get from their mom,(my sis),...how awful that was .I did not want to put myself in that situation either.so disrespectful,of the deceased,someone I loved. So I stayed at home and grieved respectfully for him.I know what you felt and I think you did do the right thing ...great work and God Bless you!
Diana
Aw now this one tugged at my heart a bit. People do enjoy judging others don't they?
The emotion of regret is painted all over this poem. It portrays an admirable selflessness.
You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself. Besides, I don't think your grandfather's spirit was at his funeral anyway. I suspect his spirit was with you that day. So sorry for your loss.
I can certainly relate to this piece. There will (unfortunately) be many a funeral I dare not attend. A poignant expression of what the ugly face of 'judgment' looks like and it's anything - but pretty.
remarkable idea.
i sooo wish u hadn't used words like snicker, bicker, snivel, harangue, issue & focal point.
all in all, a profound idea, may make a wonderful short story
Ahhh, this is such a sad, powerful poem. Like jen -- JG said, 'there is no love greater than a grandson who will allow the granfather he loved keep his dignity in death'.
I connect with this a lot. I've been to one funeral and don't intend to go to anymore should the unfortunate opportunity arise. I was expecting sadness...not...what I got. So this piece speaks pretty deeply to me...a good reason not to go.
My theatre teacher always says he wants his funeral to be a cocktail party because people should be happy that they're still alive. =)
Anyway, I quite like this a lot, and I really like it's simple structure. Brings the meaning out even more.
Alex Hutchinson is an award winning poet and novelist. His most recent book is Twisted Trails, a collection of inspiring short stories about mountain biking. It is available at Amazon.com more..