My Thoughts on Failure

A short on what failure means to me and how I have taken the concept and turned it into something that encourages me, rather than holds me back.

Some days I feel like I’ve learned nothing from my mistakes. I look back at regret about the situations I have gotten myself into or the poor decisions I have made, and although I know they are wrong and I never wish to experience them again, I am not confident I won’t.

Time and time again I fail. I know I am hard on myself and demand a lot from me, but this isn’t about my personal opinion. This is about objective failures. I have failed many, many times, and I will fail many more times. Each failure tears me apart. It makes me question myself, my worth, and who I am as a person. When I fail, I not only fail myself but I fail everyone who knows me, whether or not they know of my failures.

I know people say that failures are good. That they provide you with experiences and help you to learn from the mistakes you have made. I had a teacher, who I admire and respect, ask my class to reflect on a talk about the concept of failing forward, of accepting your failures and working with them. This concept, at a theoretical level is perfect. It emphasizes personal growth and moving on.

However, at a practical level it proves to be incredibly difficult. It can be so hard to accept your mistakes in the first place, and if you can’t accept your failures you won’t be able to learn from them.

I wish I was a person that didn’t make mistakes. I wish I didn’t get myself into situations in which there is no simple way out. I am strong, but I fear I am not strong enough to survive my failures. Failures don’t go away or heal over time. They exist and always will. Everybody fails, but this knowledge provides me no comfort,

I don’t know if these feelings of extreme regret are normal, or if I am just abnormally hard on myself. What I do know is that I can’t ever go back in time and prevent myself from making the mistakes I have made. The thought of this sometimes brings me to tears. The knowledge that I have made mistakes that can never be rectified.

My only saving grace is preventing others from making the same mistakes. I want to help people so that they never have to feel the way that I do. I want others to know what I can’t grasp; that mistakes are okay, and you haven’t failed until you’ve given up on ever being more than what you were.

Reviews

[Silver]

You can't avoid making mistakes , we just need to learn from them