June 2000 -2

Jun 5

 

In the evening me and dad ordered a pizza and watched a TV show about orangutans.  Discovery channel documentary or something it was...  It was so interesting I want to write about it. It starts with a mum orangutan playing with its babies. The narrator tells the story about the orangutan's family. A little orangutan is growing up. Once on a walk with mum they meet another mum with a child. the children play together for a bit but the mums walk off and they follow. Later there is fire in the jungle and the orangutan gets lost. He is found by humans and they take him into care. After some time, that baby orangutan he has met before is brought in too, as his mother has died. They become friends. When they were released back in the nature they were together. But after a few years they fall apart. The first orangutan grows up smart and he is ready to find a mate and leave offspring. The other did not manage to become independent. He still hangs out around the reserve where humans had raised him...

Interesting isn't it? And it's a real story! Just like with people. By the way, I have never mentioned what I want to be in the future. I think more than anything I want to either be a kindergarten teacher or a person who cares for animals or poor and sick people.

Jun 7

 

I came across a movie at night starring Val Kilmer.  He was from an old movie called Willow I had watched some time ago and I was thinking of him as good looking. I thought it would be an interesting show but it turned out to be very stupid. The role he played was even a bit perverted. Even good looking men are pervs! Why? It's not fair! Ah I am just trying to say that it's another reminder for me that I shouldn't talk to boys and men.

 

Jun 10

 

Dad let me use the internet at work again. I met a girl from Australia who was 13. She asked something about period and whether I wear a bra. I could not understand why. But apart from that chatting was fun. She likes Britney Spears and S Club 7. Her nickname was Cutie. But then she left. I cleaned up when back home and moved the couch in my room. I watched the Anne Frank movie a little but again. Then I went to take a bath and there I read while thinking about how I want to pierce my ears and about Anne. I can't put it into words but I felt good. Like there is nothing else that I need and nothing but now exists.

 

P.S. I think I got it! It's the feeling of being carefree and like there is nothing I have to be thinking about it. Such an interesting feeling. At the same time there is some sadness too. Anne Frank has some magical powers! I so should go to Amsterdam when I grow up!  The hiding place where the diary was written is located there. 

 

Jun 12

 

After school and homework I decided to stick up some curtains over my couch that I sleep on. I found a heap of old sheets and chose some. Looks gorgeous!

 

At night I watched the movie called Basketball Diaries until 12. About bad boys. Who steal and do drugs and dirty stuff. Some bits were too scary or disgusting to watch. But overall I liked the movie. I think it's because I liked the boys' friendship. Thy were such good friends! I am a little jealous. I do write that I don't need friends but I mean that I cannot imagine what it would have been like to have a lot of friends. If I could start everything from scratch, it would have been nice to have friends.

 

Jun 13

 

At night I called mum because dad was meant to but he didn't come home. Mum had such a voice!! When I told her that dad is at a friend's watching soccer she got very disappointed for some reason. I really don't understand why. Why are we so bad at understanding each other? And for some reason I had tears streaming down as we spoke. I think it's because I felt very sorry for mum. About the way she has been raised and maybe a little because she is my mum. I love mum when she is happy and is smiling. She used to be like that some long time ago. It is a pity she has changed so much.

 

I enjoyed my bed so much tonight again! I opened the window, put some music on and it was amazing! Even just thinking that I have curtains over the bed made me feel happy.

 

I really want to do diving after all. I mean diving off a board. I had tried just a little in the past and I loved it. It feels like you are flying. I need to convince dad because I only have this year left.