May 2000 -2

May 20

 

I got to go to dad's work to chat and one girl sent me her naked photos! That was disgusting and I did not open her other files. Why would one do something like that? She wasn't ugly... After that there was a 13 year old boy. First it was alright but then he started asking if I have hair down there yet. When I asked him why would he ask things like that he said "because I like you". All boys are the same... This is why I hate them!

 

Mar 22

 

Hi, Anne!

 

In the evening today Yuki asked me to go to dinner with her and a family from Philippines. We went to a barbecue restaurant and it was nice. Then we went to karaoke. In my room there were Yuki and a Philippino girl. She is 16. Her voice was amazing!! She so should just go to the stage (that is, become a singer). I didn't do well, obviously. There were not many songs I could sing and with my voice! Not fair. Ended up singing Like a Prayer somewhat well.

 

I went back to reading The Diary of a Young Girl at night. It is interesting reading about your romance! I keep thinking, would I want to do things like this or not? Of course, never with the Japanese. But maybe I wouldn't mind kissing once in a lifetime! It is very sad that you will be murdered soon! You would have definitely become a famous writer and would have married Peter! The Germans are terrible! Dad said they killed a lot of Russians also. Wonder if there was anyone else who kept a journal through this? Journaling is great. I wish everyone would! And I hope mum would buy me your book in Russian! This Anne Frank book was in English, as mentioned before, and my English really wasn't that great yet. I probably understood about half of it but it was so interesting I persisted through. I went to sleep thinking about the books I am going to write.  

  

May 23

 

Dear Ellie

 

I could not concentrate on study today, not at school nor at home. I felt sleepy and just had other things on my mind. Anne Frank for example! I haven't got over it yet. This book has impressed me so much! I kept thinking about it. I worry I might fall in love. Of course I don't fall in love and there is no one I like but there is someone I should watch out for. What would happen if I do fall for someone? I guess if I think about it nothing would happen. I just don't think I have ever been moved this much by the depiction of a romance. I think it is because when Anne kept her journal she did not know it would be published and she was completely honest. Really, she is so amazing in writing! And she was just about my age! When I finished the book after school today I was so sad! Towards the end of the book she wrote with such hope, with such confidence about the future! And she ended up dying just about 3 months before the end of the war. I don't like Germans now. I was also disappointed that there was so ending. I was expecting that she would get to kiss Peter before the end for the last time. Maybe something like that did happen but I wish there was a written record of it. There is something I thought about. Why do people close their eyes when they kiss? Don't think I could find an answer.  I think I am similar to Anne in some way and we could have been friends.

 

May 24

 

Last night we called mum in Russia. She says that her eye hurts. I was not even thinking about it. I thought she didn't have pain anymore! I hope she feels better soon.

 

On the way from school Yuki said that there is a boy that stares at her like he is angry with her. She wants to be liked. And she was surprised that I don't get upset when I get bullied sometimes. I guess that really is one of my positive qualities. If you think about it, it is not really that important to be loved, especially by boys.