Transitioning

I cannot remember-
ever feeling this well
Cannot recall-
When paradise was never hell

I cannot remember-
Ever wanting to be this way:
To smile on purpose;
Not caring as people watch;
My hair no longer hiding my eyes-

This feeling inside
Swelling
And growing
Surprise in my eyes

I will never forget-
How the darkness in me,
Ate me,
Possessed me,
Binded me and
Tore me apart
Ravished me,
Feasted upon me;
Always blessing my blackened heart

I cannot remember-
How heavy the shackles once were
Or the sound they made
As i crawled toward the light
The scraping sound
The cringe on my face
As i grind my teeth
That sound
That sound
Oh that horrible sound

The rusty echoes
Slicing my heart
Blood pouring
I'm still crawling
Blood dripping
Does no one hear my silent cry?
Blood spilling
Will i die in the dark?
Blood draining
How much farther is the light?
Hand sliding past the curtain's shadow
The light will be mine
Hand reaching the glass of the window
The light will redeem me
Hand feeling the warmth
It's mine
All mine
Hand over mouth
Gasping
Blood flowing back
Raised up off the ground
Hand behind the curtain
Pulling slowly
Slowly pulling
The golden light
My golden eyes
What is dark,
When you know you're alive?

So, ask me once more
Oh, just one more time
What it was like
To always want to cry?
But no i say,
No, i cant ever remember
What those days were like
When my life i begged to sever
And as i will never remember
I will also never forget
These times
Those days
All nightmares
Gone when day does come
No,
I cannot remember
No,
I will never forget

5-6-13

Author's Note

Any feedback at all would just be great!

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

This is very dark and emotive. There is a lot of suffering in your words. My favorite is

cannot recall
when paradise was never hell.

I also really liked the end when you go back and forth between remembering and forgetting.

[Lauren N. Rodriguez]

Thanks!