On a Swing and a Prayer

A Story by C. J. Chandler

The first chapter I want critiques and review on of my story 'On a Swing and a Prayer.' It's the story of a brother and sister who live together years after being orphaned.

Rain splashed against the glass windowpane and thunder rolled across the dark sky, giving the perfect scene for a horror movie to take place in. Inside the dark apartment building, it wasn't a movie being played or filmed, but instead, a girl dreaming of her father's death. It had been a tragic and frightening time for her and she was terrified to remember it, and terrified of the dreams that occurred when she was reminded of it. She tossed and turned, messing up her once nicely made bed, and sweating like crazy.

She soon woke with a start, sitting up in bed, panting and looking around to check her surroundings, making sure she was safe. She saw her desk in the corner, neat and clean with her laptop sitting on top, she saw her closet door closed, because she was afraid of what could be inside, and her lamp laying on the floor from when she knocked it over in her fits. She carefully scooped it up and placed it back on her night table, turning it on. She was startled by a clap of thunder and looked about her room. She would have called for help, but she couldn't find her voice. Instead, she stood up, running from her bedroom and down the hallway to her brother's room. He was already waiting for her when she entered, falling straight into his arms. She panted, trying to catch her breath as he soothed her with his quiet voice.

"Can you tell me what it was about, Ronny, or is it too much too soon?"

She shuttered and buried her head into his shoulder, holding him tighter, a sure sign that it was indeed: 'too much too soon.'

The two lay in the bed and Chris held his younger sister firmly in his arms, cradling her until she fell back to sleep. This was almost a ritual for them, happening fairly often, only, with different dreams. Ronny was plagued by nightmares from her past, including the death of both her parents, bullies growing up, and how badly she was treated in orphanages. Chris was her only family that she knew of, besides her aging grandparents on her mother's side, although, the two didn't know how to find them since they hadn't seen or heard from them in many years.

Instead, the two lived alone in a small apartment in a very large building in a fairly good-sized town. They spent hours each morning and night, sometimes talking, mostly either listening to music or reading, and most of all: enjoying each other's company.

Morning came soon, and Chris had stayed awake the rest of the night, making sure Ronny was okay. When she stirred, slowly waking, he kissed her forehead and got up to start making breakfast. Every morning it was the same thing: eggs, toast, and fresh squeezed orange juice. It had become a habit for the two, although they did long for other things once in a while.

Soon, they were sitting in silence, eating their breakfast. Chris got a bit anxious, wanting to hear about Ronny's dream, so he carefully brought it up so as not to shut her down again.

"So, the dream," he began, choosing his words carefully, "It was pretty awful, huh?"

Ronny nodded, staring down at her eggs, poking at them with her fork.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shrugged, sighing deeply, then looking up at him with tired eyes, "It was about dad," she said.

"I see. Was it his death again?"

"Yes. Always the same every time, every detail, every word, every movement, the whole thing, until it's done, then I wake up, usually screaming."

"I know. I can hear you crying and talking in your sleep all the way from my bedroom. I don't know if I should try to wake you or if that would make it worse. Usually, it makes it worse, because you get more scared from seeing me in your room."

"Yeah," Ronny agreed, "The dark figure standing in my doorway walking towards me after having a nightmare, it doesn't help much..." her voice trailed off and she broke eye contact from Chris who was grinning.

"I can see how that would be freaky," he agreed, trying to conceal his grin, "I just wish there was something I could do to help get rid of the nightmares once and for all."

"Me too," Ronny said, almost in a whisper, then she pushed her plate away and dropped her head to the table with a loud 'thud' and sighed deeply again. She knew that Chris was leaving for work soon and she didn't want him to leave. She hated being alone in the apartment with nothing to do. Usually, she'd go for walks, but today, it was raining only a little less than it was during the night. She'd be stuck inside, reading her books all day long again, which only made her tired and groggy.

Soon enough, Chris was kissing her forehead and saying goodbye, leaving her alone, just as she dreaded every single day.

She began her day alone with tidying the apartment up, keeping it clean for Chris, then sat down with the book she was reading: The Penny Whistle. She soon tired of reading, though, and stood up, walking to the window. The rain had slowed and large puddles remained everywhere. She decided to go outside anyway, so after dressing and putting on her rain boots and coat, she walked down the hallway, dragging her heals boredly. She reached the lobby of the apartment building and the nice door man, Steve, opened the door for her to go out.

"Off walking on a day like today?" He asked with a chuckle.

"Yes, sir," She replied with a kind smile.

"Well, enjoy yourself, but be careful, some drivers aren't so good in the rain!"

Ronny nodded and walked through the door, heading out on to the nearly empty streets. She walked the streets, listening to the cars passing, the occasional bird chirping, and the distant church bells telling her it was nine o'clock.

Soon, she tired of walking, so she sat on the nearest bench in the street, still wanting to be outside, and began watching. She was exceedingly good at watching, since that's what she'd done most of her life. She'd watched, and not spoken much. Now, she watched the cars driving by, but one car in particular caught her eye. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but the man inside the car is what was really grabbing at Ronny's attention. He wasn't from around, she could tell that much, especially by the way he drove: extremely slowly, reading every street sign, looking carefully for his destination.

She giggled to herself as she watched him turn around and back track several times in the few minutes she was sitting there. She was somewhat startled when the man driving the car came over to her and pulled over, getting out and looking at her.

"Excuse me, miss, can you help me find the nearest hotel?"

In a slight panic, Ronny pointed in the direction of the hotel, just across the street from her apartment building, only a few blocks down the road. When he saw how close he had been the whole time, he dropped his head onto the roof of his car.

"I'm so stupid," he mumbled under his breath, "The place is right there, how could I have missed that?" Then, to Ronny, he said, "Thank you, miss," and got back into his car, driving to the hotel parking garage.

Ronny watched as he tried to drive up, but was headed in the wrong direction, going up a one way street into the back exit of the parking garage. Horns were honked and he got out of his car again to address the situation with a rather large man who was trying to get out.

"Look, man, I just want to go in and park, can you cut me a little slack?"

"The entrance was clearly marked, kid, you should really watch where you're going. A few more inches and my car would have been busted up!"

The young man was relieved when Ronny came running up, pulling the large man away from him and saying, "I'm sorry, Hayden, he's new here..."

Hayden nodded at Ronny, then gave the young foreigner an angry glance, "See you teach him the rules of the road over here, okay, Ronny?"

She nodded and quickly told the poor, young man to get back into his car and follow her. She guided him to the correct entrance, showing him where to get a meter card and how to pay, and then she left him. He stared after her, wishing he could run after her and ask for her name without seeming like a creeper or a stalker.

"Wait!" he called out. Ronny stopped and turned, listening to what he said next, "I don't believe I caught your name," he said.

"Don't believe I dropped it!" She called back, smiling widely as she exited the parking garage, walking across the street to her own building.

"Don't believe I dropped it...That girl watches too many movies," he complained,"Why didn't I say something? Like, 'Hey, my name is Nick, I'm new here,can you show me around a bit?' Why am I so stupid?" He cursed at himself, kicking his tire, then heading into the building to check in.