Third Party's Fault

Ears pulsing

Heart numbing

"I'm not here"

Swift stripping

Stomach flipping

She apologizes...

Tape silencing

Hands tying

He's inside me

Muffled panicking

Useless struggling

"Please help me"

Unlawful rubbing

Endless moaning

She's sobbing...

Continuous thrusting

Eyes pleading,

"Mommy, why are you just watching?"

Author's Note

Ehh, I'm still working on it but what do you think?

Reviews

[Franky]

Holy s**t! I didn't expect that. Extreme stuff. Damn!

[Andrew Rayne]

Agreed with the rest, this piece speak words that the english language doesn't have the nerve to come up with. It strikes reality, and even more so, hits even harder at the end. The entire time I was reading, I had wondered where this Third Party would come into play. That delivery was executed beautifully. Hard to imagine such an event, and even though it sickened me, the imagery was quite clear.

Great work. :)

[Alejandra Marie]

Thank you so much. I'm really glad the emotion came through as strongly as it did. I really appreciate your review. Have a great week.

[Perdition]

I think you got it. When a poem rips me from my oxygen or rifles me thoroughly then I think of it as more than just poetry, it becomes a language of soul and has great power. Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to throw myself off a mountain….YIKES!! Wonderful~

[Alejandra Marie]

Thank you so much. Though I'm not glad it rid you of your oxygen, I'm glad to see it had this effect. Haha please don't do that. I really appreciate your review. I'm so thankful that it has such positive commentary so far.

[Stonz P.]

Well, I have read cases like these and this had that same flinching effect on me as the others.. Good structuring and pace, flow to this..

Good write..

[T.S. Claus]

I love the simplicity of this!

[Alejandra Marie]

Thank you.

[Elizabeth Gonzalez]

ok..... I am a little lost on words here.. the poem is great really makes you feel something. Makes me wonder what's going on in the mothers head and I can feel the distress coming from the victim. great job.

[BennyBooth]

Scary! it is sad to read things like this... Makes a person wonder... It is usually hard to get inside someones mind if you don't understand completely whats going on.... but you make it easy with this one. Good write...

[Alejandra Marie]

Thank you for reading, glad you liked it. I appreciate the review. I have another poem about cutting, maybe I'll post it later.

[Justin]

that was really great, it tells a powerful story :)

[Alejandra Marie]

Thank you Justin. Glad you like it.

[Justin]

your welcome, i did enjoy it :)

[MomzillaNC]

Phew! Really powerful, godawful stuff! Well penned.

[Alejandra Marie]

Thank you. I'm so glad this poem is getting such positive reviews so far. I went with a taboo, intense topic so I had to raise the bar. I'm glad it didn't fall short.

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.