Support

As someone who probably was constantly tormented by all sorts of demons and dragged myself through all possible emotional hell and back, today I’m fortunately at the place, where I finally trust myself, my abilities and even have faith in current situation and that I’m exactly where I need to be.

Growing up I was always different than my peers (of course cliché) and due to that I was suffering a lot because I was had all the questions and I had no one to answer them to me and I was just stuck in this emotional pain with no hope that things will get better. There was one thing though: I never stopped looking for answer to every single of my questions I had (some parts of me still are and others will for a while) and destroying and rebuilding myself both slowly and in very short periods of time, brought me where I am today. It was very hard and long and painful way, with bulimia, self-destruction (being in unhealthy relationships, putting myself to life threatening situations, leading “living on the edge” lifestyle), anxiety, having no faith in people and the world itself, praying and writing letters to God (look at me, still a writer in moment of crisis) begging to take my life cause I have no courage to do it myself.

Despite that, I also want the reader to understand that my story is not unique or it matters more the other one, what you’d never be able to find anywhere, quite the opposite, I believe it doesn’t matter where to life or we take ourselves, the question is why? Everyone who ever felt the way I did is my brother and sister. I take responsibility for them as my fellow humans, doesn’t matter if life threw bigger challenge at them or me. Doesn’t matter if my story was bigger than some people because just few meters away someone survived things not even imaginable for me. What I want to stress here is that all these situations and experiences taught so much and those questions about life and myself even though were very often painful but also just as much rewarding if not more. Other thing is that it also taught me compassion, if my life haven’t happened the way it did, I would never know the pain other people are feeling every day. I would not be able to give advice to my friends the way I am able to do it right now " by helping them to see clearly through their doubts and lack of self-confidence caused by their environment. But I also always keep reminding myself that at the end of the day, one of the most important things I’ve learnt is that it doesn’t matter how much I advice someone there are certain things that they will need to live go horrible soul pain, doubts, despair, loss, betrayal and heartbreak by themselves in order to fully gain the wisdom. And this is how it basically sums up all the support that you give to your fellow humans, without trying to change, listen to them, help them open their eyes when they ‘re afraid to do so, hold their hand in the dark, repeat that you believe in them and that is nothing wrong with them and there is definitely going to be days when they will secure, safe and confident.

This is what I wanted to let people, who will ever read me to know that how important help is and that I should do what’s in your power to support my fellows in this world, where people have no idea who they are, where they are going and just getting really really scared and more and more lost. I know how hard it can be for you and for me and for people around. And I still remember clear as day how much I needed someone to help me to get through my dark days and this is exactly what encouraged me to provide moral support to those who need it. If you believe you can, I hope you have enough courage to do the same:)

 

Reviews

[Liza]

I think this is a great piece of writing, and you have covered a lot of the points in terms of what people are made of and how their experiences shape them. I agree with the fact that sometimes we can't change people because they need to go through some experiences by themselves. I find myself in a similar situation at the moment, disappointed in the world around me. However, I am trying to fight and live in this world, and I now do it with writing. Just like you, I also want to help and support others who find themselves in similar situations :)