Chapter 8: All good things must come to an end

When I got home from the beach house, I was in a big funk. I was excited to go to my front door, ring the doorbell and be greeted by a chorus of hello's and to be pulled into a big group hug with my whole family. But I didn't want to say goodbye to Garrett, Conor and even Tess. The whole thing was a big crap-fest. But seeing my family was worth it. Hugging Cora, kissing my parents. Seeing Owen in the living room on his laptop, typing away with headphones on. Cora going into a rampage telling me all about her summer, squeezing my arms tightly between her small hands. And Stephen expressed looks of complete shock while Cam talked to him, explaining, I expected, about our newly discovered interest in eachother.

When my parents were carefully out of earshot, Cam glared at me.

“F**k!” He cursed, and Cam laughed quietly, gazing at me shyly.
“You just had to steal him, didn't you?” Stephen rolled his eyes, waving as Cam turned to walk back down the driveway. He flicked my forehead as he passed me and Cam winked at me before climbing into the van. I spent the next hour or two just talking to my whole family, going over every single moment of the summer. I'd missed a lot. Fun family poker games, swimming in the neighbourhood pool, family bikerides... but I was sort of glad I had been at the beach-house. I'd gained a lot more then I'd lost, and I was happy with where I was in life.

Grade nine was nothing like what I'd expected. The school was bigger, and the lockers smaller. Virginia fit right in among the busty twelfth grade girls and made the bone-head boys swoon. Meanwhile, Maureen and I were still ninth grade nothings who stuck to her like glue. We were all getting sick of initiation by the Wednesday of our first week, watching poor, innocent kids get eggs thrown at them and swear words written on them. I couldn't imagine going home with 'f****t' written on my forehead in sharpie, and explaining it to my stunned parents? I couldn't even imagine. Maureen and I stuck close to Cam and his friends, hoping to avoid the initiation by being around tenth grade boys. Virginia wasn't afraid, she knew she could charm any boy trying to initiate her before he did the deed. On Wednesday, Maureen and I met up with Cam and his group of friends on the quad at lunch. Stephen was among the crowd of boys Cam belonged to, and he frowned upon me invading their group with unwanted sisterly energy. He was especially unhappy when Cam held my hand.

“Hey!” Cam greeted us enthusiastically, as if he hadn't seen us coming. But I knew he had. I'd seen the corners of his mouth twist into a smile for a moment when he saw us approaching, and he'd gone back to talking to his friends.

“Hello.” I smiled, and the boys immediately stopped their conversation and turned to look at us as Cam pulled me in for a hug. He wrapped his arms around my waist and gazed at me while I turned to look at the boys.

“Hello.” I repeated, and they muttered to themselves for a few moments before returning to their debate on football versus baseball.

“Tough crowd.” Cam grinned, releasing me from his grip. I backed away, and he ushered us and a few of his friends towards a picnic table. Maureen stood beside me, mimicking my every move. She was the most afraid of being initiated out of any of my friends, and she was careful not to do anything that would set off the initiators. As we all sat down, three tall boys approached Cam. The one leading the pack was big and muscled, with extremely dark skin. In his right ear, an earring was glistening. His two friends were also big, but less intimidating with their girlfriends hanging off their arms.

“Seems like my boys missed you.” The black one smirked, and although he looked much larger, he was the same height as Cam. Cam didn't speak, as his friends jumped up and stood beside him, ready to put up a fight. A pathetic fight, but nonetheless a fight. It was noble of them, but I didn't really look forward to seeing them all black and blue afterwards. The boy on his left side, who was more fat then buff, handed him a carton of eggs. The other one was busy talking to his girlfriend, and didn't pay attention as the leader opened the carton slowly. He pulled out one egg, and backed away slowly. I began to think they were leaving, and began to step towards Cam. He, however, was still staring determinedly at the boys. In the blink of an eye, an egg was hurled through the air, and smacked Cam's neck, dripping runny yoke down his shirt. The boys returned, throwing eggs from every angle. They didn't all hit Cam, some of them hit his friends, who were screaming abuse at the boys. I stepped up, and seized the leader's arm as he prepared to throw one of the last eggs.

“Stop.” I said, glaring up at him with fury and nervousness all mixed into one rush of adrenaline. The leader pushed me off, and rested an egg on my steady forehead. He pulled it back, and cracked it right there. The innards of the egg dripped down my face, drying slowly into a sticky mask.

“Dude, you'd egg a girl?” Stephen's voice rang from behind me, and the boy looked down at me, an expression of pleasure washing over his face. Cam's arms were soon draped around me, leading me into the school. People were questioning me, yelling in my ears. Wondering why I'd stepped up or if I was okay. I ignored it all, keeping my eyes tightly shut until everything went silent.
“Open your eyes.” Cam said softly, and I opened my eyes to see the empty science room. There were models of the planets above us, and posters covering the walls. He gestured for me to sit down, and I hopped up on top of the counter. He grabbed some paper towel from the supply closet, and began wiping my face gently. I gazed at my reflection in the window as he wiped my makeup slowly off.

“Frightening.” I joked. He smiled, and tossed a few paper towels in the trash.

“I'm fine.” I stopped him as he began to walk back to the supply closet to get more.

“Are you?” He asked, a look of genuine worry spreading across his face. I stood up and walked towards him, taking his hands in mine.
“Yeah. Totally.” I assured him, swinging his arms playfully from side-to-side. He squeezed my hands tightly, staring at the floor.

“I shouldn't have let them done that.” He sighed.

“I'm fine. Really. Don't beat yourself up about it, I'm over it.” I persuaded, putting my arms over his shoulders.

“Really?” He said, looking doubtful. I nodded, and kissed him quickly.

“Come on,” I smiled, “the show must go on.”

I've always thought that I was smarter then most girls my age. That if any boy tried to manipulate me, I would be able to say no and strut away feeling like a superstar. But reality hits eventually, and it just took a little bit longer hitting me. My realization began one morning on the city bus. I had started taking the bus to school, since my Mom had to drive Cora all the way to her new school across town, and then drive Stephen and I to ours, and we ended up always being late. Stephen and I were some of the first people to get on the bus, and the last to get off. He usually brought an iPod and ignored me for the whole bus ride while I watched the same streets zoom past the windows. On a warm October morning, a familiar face appeared on the bus, a few minutes after me. His name was Stuart, and he was in eleventh grade. He was in my math class, because he'd apparently failed grade nine math two years in a row. He'd never really caught my eye before that day. He wore a light brown hoodie and his hair was spiky at the front like Cam's. He squinted against the sunlight as he walked down the aisle, and looked right at me.
“May I sit here?” He asked. I nodded, removing my purse from the seat next to me and placing it on my lap. He sat down, slouching next to me. He fiddled with the strings on his hoodie, and looked at me occasionally.

“You're in my math class, aren't you?” He asked finally. I tugged at my mini-skirt, pulling it down to cover more of my tanned thighs. I expected to have the tan I'd gotten at Maureen's beach-house for a long time, since it was still as dark as it had been while I was there.

“Yeah.” I replied softly.

“What's your name?” He asked, speaking in an especially calm tone of voice.

“Peyton. You?” I said, although I knew exactly what his name was.

“Stuart.” He muttered, and we endured a few moments of awkward silence.

“My mom, she's kind of a deadbeat. Doesn't like me much, prefers my sisters. But the other day, she comes home from the mall, and gives me a pair of Uggs. Naturally, I'm like, what the hell is this?” He waited for my reaction, and I giggled nervously.

“So anyways, she tells me that she bought me some boots, and I should be grateful and s**t. And then I tell her that they're girl boots and I'll get gang beaten if I wear them. She's f*****g crazy.” He laughed. I gazed at his feet, and hidden beneath his way too-long jeans, were the uggs. He was wearing them, and I didn't dare mention it.

“As you can see, she overpowered me. Don't tell.” He said, looking down at his feet. I nodded playfully.

“You don't talk a lot.” He remarked.

“Sorry, I'm still half-asleep.” I blinked quickly, fumbling with the buttons to my cardigan nervously. He then pulled out his cell phone, and I waited for the rest of the bus ride for him to speak again, but he never did.

I wasn't quite sure I wanted to admit that I was developing a small crush on Stuart to anyone but myself, because my two best friends were both Team Cam, all the way. Although Cam was my clear favourite, Stuart was growing on me. And it wasn't as if I actually considered leaving Cam for Stuart, because I was a ninth grade nothing and Stuart was an eleventh grade something. But our daily conversations on the bus seemed to become more and more interesting every day, and sometimes I found myself smiling for no reason when thinking of him. It was a feeling I'd only once felt before, towards Cam. Even though I wished I could keep mine and Stuart's blossoming friendship a secret forever, things became more and more suspicious.

The first strike, was when Virginia and Maureen were at my locker, waiting to walk me to class, when I spotted Stuart heading towards us from down the hall. I'd slammed my locker shut, and my books had scattered everywhere.

“Whoa, muscle spasm.” Virginia had taunted, as Stuart shot me an amused grin and walked by. I'd picked up my books one by one, with Maureen's help, and blushed as we'd walked down the hall.

The second strike, which Cam himself witnessed, was when Stuart invited me to ditch class with him and we'd run into Cam while walking down the hall. The worst part was that we'd been hip-bumping and laughing the whole time until I saw Cam, and he'd looked at me suspiciously before giving me a quick kiss.

On the third last week before Christmas break, strike three.

As I walked down the hall, heading to the ninth grade door out onto the quad, I felt a certain breezy happiness that I hadn't been feeling at all recently. I expected there were two reasons for that. One, although slightly pathetic, was because Quinn, one of my old sixth grade friends, had complimented my outfit first thing in the morning. I wore a baggy blue sweatshirt with tight black leggings and uggs.

“Peyton, I love your outfit.” She'd smiled, while zooming past me confidently. Even though I loved Virginia and Maureen, I sort of wished that Quinn and I could've stayed friends. And I guessed we were sort of friends, since she hung around a new crowd now, not Jenna, who hated me. But still, I wanted just a little bit more. The second reason was that I hadn't been feeling as guilty about being friends with Stuart, because that was all we were. Friends. As I approached my locker, I saw Stuart sauntering up the hall, and he was very masculine, while still resembling a cute puppy dog. I began to open my lock, turning away from him. Once I opened my locker, I gazed into the mirror on my locker door eagerly, smiling. Soon, I felt two hands cupping over my eyes, blocking my view of the mirror. They smelled like Stuart's cologne, and I smiled hugely.

“Hi Stuart.” I greeted him softly, his arms resting on my shoulders. He took his hands off my eyes, and rested his chin on my shoulder, appearing next to me in the mirror.
“Pey-pey.” He teased, taking on a high-pitched voice. I slapped his cheek awkwardly and gently, leaving him beaming proudly at me. I looked back at the mirror, and gulped as I saw Virginia and Maureen, down the hall, looking right at us. I yelped softly, cowering behind Stuart, safe from their accusing-best-friend-guilt-trip.

A few footsteps later, the confrontation begins.

“Hi, guy who's flirting with my friend who has a boyfriend. You can go.” Virginia glared up at Stuart, and he grinned. He wasn't the type to take anything seriously.

“See you around.” He muttered to me, and held on to my hand as he slowly backed away. He finally let his fingertips linger against mine and then turned swiftly, letting his arms fall back to his sides.

“What the hell is going on?” Virginia asked, regarding me in a no-nonsense kind of way.

“We're just friends,” I assured her, closing my locker slowly, “I swear, nothing more.”

“You were holding hands. He did the 'guess who' thing. You're not just friends, Peyton.” She rolled her eyes.

“You do know you're dating my brother, right? And I have the grounds to go and tell him how you've been running around with some older guy.” Maureen piped in. Before I could reply, she murmured:
“But I won't...” And gazed at her feet shyly.

“I will assure you guys, that I want nothing from Stuart but clean, innocent friendship. I can't speak for him, but I'm not stupid. I'm not going to cheat on Cam, with someone who hasn't proved their loyalty to me yet.” I held Maureen's hand in my left, and Virginia's in my right. Virginia scowled, releasing a deep breath slowly. She nudged me, smirking slightly, and turned away from me.

“You're off the hook. But just know that we've got blackmail, honey.” She gazed at me, and I giggled. I had learnt over the course of our friendship not to take anything Virginia said seriously.

The next few months, I was careful not to be caught doing anything misleading with Stuart. I only hugged him when I was sure no one was approaching, and I refused to hold his hand or engage in any flirty activities. And it was hard. Any girl in the world would love to be showered in attention by a cute, older guy, and it was difficult to look him in the eye and say that I was off-limits.

Apparently, Cam had been informed by a few people that I was cheating on him, and Virginia and Maureen denied any accusations that it was them. So I gave up wondering who had told him, and decided to sort things out with him on my own. And me being the bigger person led into a heated discussion about whether I still wanted to be with him and me explaining my entire friendship with Stuart to Cam.

“Do you want to break up?” He'd asked, and I could've sworn he was on the verge of tears.

“Of course not, Cam.” I'd assured him firmly, making sure to sound as serious as possible.

“Me neither...” He'd murmured softly, and winced slightly, “I still like you... a lot.” He'd gazed up at me nervously. I wanted him to just say it. I wanted him to spit it out, what we were both desperately searching for. Why couldn't he just say that he loved me? I loved him too, obviously, and he was too afraid to say it. I was too, mind you, but still. Why couldn't we both grow a pair and just say it?

“Me too.” I replied simply, and leaned across the bench we were sitting on, out on the quad. I wrapped my arms around him, and somehow still felt distant from him. How could it be that we could be so connected; so close, and still feel far away? What was happening to us? Why did we have to fall apart so soon? He kissed my cheek as I pulled away from him, and we stood up awkwardly, turning and going our seperate ways.

It was April, when I finally realized that me and Cam were breaking up, without us even knowing it. The year was zooming past, and everything that was good; everything I loved, it was all just going, going, gone...

In science class, our teacher assigned Quinn and I to be partners for our latest project. I got up from my seat and shuffled over to her, preparing for the most awkward conversation in the history of awkward conversations. But it turned out that it wasn't going to be that way. Instead of making small talk about our project, and how boring the class was, and how tired we were, she started talking to me about Stuart.

“Everyone thinks you and Cam broke up 'cause of him.” She explained, after I assured her that Stuart and I were just friends.
“Cam and I are still together.” I replied simply.

“Oh...” She trailed off, “so you and Stuart are just friends?” Fiddling with her pencil, she looked strangely interested in my love life.

“Yeah, totally. Just friends. We're just... we're two very affectionate people. So if we hug occasionally, it's nothing out of the ordinary.” I improvised, although it wasn't true. I wasn't afraid of intimacy or hugging or anything, but I wasn't obsessed with touching people like I was making myself out to be.

“I'm not stupid,” she glared, “I don't care if you flirt with Stuart. Just making small-talk, you know?” She shrugged. I smiled, because her version of small-talk was much different then mine.

“So who do you like better?” She began, and I glanced at her nervously, “Stuart or Cam?” I gazed across the classroom where Cam was, working with his assigned partner, Jacob. He looked determined and was scribbling down notes while Jacob made a small tower out of Q-cards. I imagined Stuart sitting there, talking loudly and hovering around the room to talk to everyone. Stuart felt like the right answer, but our hearts can play tricks on us. I realized that I had formed an opinion of Stuart that reflected my own personality. Even though I'd like to say so, I'm not careless. I'm not friends with everyone. I'm not going to be a bunjee jumper or anything when I get older, I'll probably just work in a cubicle on a computer, or something. Because there's only a few people in every person's life who have it that easy. And the only one I could think of was Stuart.

“Honestly... I really want to give Stuart a try.” I whispered. She smirked, in a way that I'd seen before. It was the kind of smirk we girls made when we were pretending that we weren't going to blab a secret, but right afterwards we would go and do just that. I gazed at Cam, and felt my stomach twisting inside me. I had either fallen out of love with him, or been poisoned. I went with the first guess, and asked to go to the nurse's office for the rest of the class.

I figured it was just a matter of time before Quinn told everyone, and was preparing myself for the s**t-storm. But a month went by, and by May 1^st, I couldn't take it anymore. I was beginning to even dislike Cam. His flirty jokes seemed irritating to me now, and I felt awkward kissing him in public.

The first step to breaking up, for me atleast, was to consult Virginia. I expected that Maureen would be against the whole idea completely, so I recruited Virginia at my house for a sleepover, where we were free to talk all through the night. But when she arrived at my house, she had different things to talk about.

“Conor dumped me!” She exclaimed as I closed my bedroom door and locked it. My parents had gotten me a lock after Cora burst into my room when Maureen and I were changing into our pajamas at our last sleepover.
“What?” I said, half-thinking she was kidding and half-knowing that it had to happen eventually. Conor was a guy, and a horny guy at that. He couldn't go his whole life not seeing Virginia again, without straying a bit. And from what I saw, their relationship was mostly physical.

“Yeah!” She replied, throwing herself face-first onto my bed, “He's got a new girlfriend! Before he even broke up with me! It was on facebook, suddenly, he was like, in a relationship with W***e McSkankbag.”

“He's not worth it,” was all I could say, “you can do so much better. And all the guys at our school swoon when you walk by. No sweat, don't waste your time crying over him.” Virginia whimpered from where her face was buried in one of my pillows.

“Too late.” She squeaked, sitting up to reveal her teary eyes, and running mascara. I grabbed a few tissues and began to dab under her eyes, removing most of her dark mascara stains.
“Why do people ever break up? How is it that everyone goes through so many breakups but all end up married in the end? Why can't we just marry that one person?” Her voice cracked halfway through her rant, and I was glad because Stephen and his buddies could have well been right outside the door, laughing at her pain.

“Because Conor obviously wasn't the right person.” I replied simply, because my mind was elsewhere. Why couldn't I just marry Cam and be done with it? Why did I have to go through so many changing emotions and relationships, if they were all just going to be failures until I got to college? She sighed, lying down on her side, curled up in a fetal position. She gazed up at me.

“What's new?” She murmured innocently, her voice shaking as she attempted not to burst into tears again.

“I'm breaking up with Cam.” I blurted out quickly, and she jolted upright, regarding me attentively. I expected her to yell at me about how I was just proving that we should all just become lesbians, but instead she just waited.

“I just... I want to see how me and Stuart would be together. And, it's like, I fell out of love with Cam. He's just... I'm his first real girlfriend, and I want someone more... experienced.” I babbled, finding that everything I had planned out for me to say was all turning into word vomit. Virginia regarded me, slightly amused.

“So... you want some man w***e?” She asked. I groaned, throwing a pillow at her stomach angrily.

“Virginia...” I sighed, gazing at her hopefully.

“I understand.” She finally replied, and then quickly changed the subject by suggesting that we stalk Conor's new, quote, skank of a girlfriend on facebook, quote. I jumped at the opportunity to end the awkward distance between us, and spent the rest of the night helping her create a custom-made dart board of the girl, and playing darts on it, which was much more entertaining with a personal interest in hitting the target, which was right at her throat.

Author's Note

Bwahaha, I know it's been f-o-r-e-v-e-r.. but hopefully this lives up to expectations? I had writers block, nuff said..

Reviews

[J.A.N]

KAAAAY!
Idunno what to think about Stuart yet, really don't.
He seems quite interesting though.
When I started reading this, I had the urge to
go back to the very first chapter and start all over again.
I love this. I'm excited for what happens next.
keep up the great work, beautiful.