Part 2: So ambitious for a juvenile

Maybe I'm wrong,

but I think it's about time Katia comes home.

I usually don't stay up this late,

but my eyes just wouldn't close.

So I crept down the stairs and curled up on the couch.

Just to find that Katia's jacket wasn't on a hanger,

and her car not in the garage.

Maybe I'm wrong,

but something's not right.

Katia stumbles in,

the keys to her yellow convertible jingling in her palm.

She trips over her high heeled, black leather boots.

She gazes at me with tears in her eyes,

and pulls her strapless black mini-dress up to cover her yellow bra.

She stomps upstairs with a trembling pout,

and I dare not make a sound.

While peeling potatoes,

Katia gazes at the blade of the knife with longing.

Like they're old friends.

Like they've been through so much together.

A feeling of emptiness grows in my abdomen,

it's time for me to get to the bottom of this.

I usually can't lie without guilt,

But I just don't regret telling Katia what I did.

In the end this will be the best path to take.

“You better not have read this. Did you?” She'd asked, pressing her diary to her chest protectively.

I shook my head no, though I really had.

As I processed what I'd read,

she sighed loudly and stomped out of her bedroom.

I must have read it wrong.

'Dear diary,'

I remember, lying on my bed, tucked in safely.

It's only 6:45, and I'm already going to sleep.

I linger on the next sentence in my mind.

'I went to Tony's house after the party, I was too wasted to drive.'

Definition of wasted: Very under the influence of alcohol

'I guess I was teasing him because we ended up making out, hardcore.'

That, I can tolerate. I see them make out in the halls every day.

'and then... maybe things got a little out of hand.'

I take a deep breath and speak the words I read next.

“I am no longer a virgin.”

I gaze around her closet,

mascara running down my face.

Our old, perfect, cookie-cutter dollhouse is tucked away on a shelf.

Up there are also her stuffed animals, and our old barbies.

I close the door to the walk-in closet,

trapping myself with the honest darkness.

I curl up in a ball behind her array of clothes, and rock slowly back and forth.

I run my fingers gently along her clothes, wanting to feel who she used to be.

I find myself wondering how she is even still my sister.

Katia is depressed,

and I think maybe I am too.

I have no interest in doing anything.

I feel like I could die any day and not even care.

When did my life become like this?

Katia hasn't gone to Tony's in weeks,

and there are rumors at school that they broke up.

I hope they're true.

I like to tell myself that it's all his fault she's changed so much.

But I know she could've stopped him.

I want to hate her.

But I just can't.

Katia skipped school today,

She said she was walking.

But I didn't see her in her usual spot in the cafeteria.

And her three best friends, Hannah, Robyn and Grace waved me over to the table.

“Where's Katia?” They'd all asked nervously.

I'd shrugged, and noticed that Tony wasn't there either.

I ran off, fighting back a storm of tears.

When I get home,

Katia is nowhere to be found.

Even though I'd been saying I hated her all day,

I felt a surge of worry in my chest,

and run upstairs to her bedroom.

I blow my runny nose, wiping beneath my bloodshot eyes.

I toss the crumpled tissue into the garbage in Katia's bathroom and notice something.

I reach into the small, wicker basket and feel something hard beneath layers of toilet paper.

I pull out the object, a thin, cylinder-like object wrapped in toilet paper.

I unwrap the object, gazing at it curiously.

A little oval screen on the long, white object.

And splat in the middle is a big, black +

Katia is pregnant,

Oh my god.

A pregnancy test, the object in my hands surely was.

And plus means pregnant.

S**t, s**t, s**t!

I use all my force, my knuckles red and swollen, and break the plastic test in half.

I throw the two pieces in the trash, and go look for more evidence.

Katia's going to hell,

God must be furious.

Sex before marriage, without even an indication of thinking about marriage.

And now a baby.

A baby that she won't be able to raise well, a baby that will starve as she scrounges for money.

A baby born into a cursed life, the devil's child.

Will she be able to wear white at her wedding?

If anyone even wants to marry her.

Will the crowd boo and throw food at her?

And tell her she's a satanic sinner?

Will she forever be a dishonour to our family?

If anyone even wants to marry her.

I need to tell someone,

It's been a week and a half since I found out.

And I haven't had a good nights sleep since then.

Katia came home in Tony's jeep, acting like she'd done nothing wrong.

I didn't bring up her skipping school, I didn't even look at her.

I'm a wreck, a hot mess.

But who could I possibly tell?

Dylan takes me ice-skating,

Just as the sun sets.

For a split second I think I forget about Katia,

and all I see is him.

Him and his beautiful soul.

With a beautiful face to match.

Sitting on a snowy park bench,

I wonder if this is what love is.

I wish I didn't have to,

But I can't hold it in any longer.

“Katia's pregnant.” I blurted out.

Dylan cocked his head to the side curiously,

and pulled me close as I began to cry.

“How do you know?” He asks softly.

I go into a monologue, explaining everything.

When I get to the last word,

he steals my last breath and replaces it with a kiss.

“Calm down.” He murmurs, as I tremble against his lips.

I'm sobbing and he just keeps kissing me.

Again and again and again.

We talk for almost half an hour,

All about how I feel like Katia's not even my sister any more,

and how he wishes he could take all the pain away.

He's sweet and on a normal day I'd appreciate it.

But not today.

We segway into talking about how much I hate Tony,

And Dylan silences me and stares straight into my eyes.

“I'll never pressure you like that.”

This time I kiss him, with a passion so deep.

“I love you.”

When I get home, I feel a little bit better.

But as soon as I finish kissing Dylan goodnight,

I see Julia's, Janet's and my Dad's cars are all gone.

The only one left is Katia's.

I hear shattering glass from the kitchen, and Katia scream.

“Get out of my house!”

I run through the living room,

And peek into the kitchen.

Tony's back to me, Katia is pulling at her hair.

“Ana, go upstairs!” Katia yells.

Tony turns swiftly to face me, and shoves me with all his force.

“She said go upstairs!” His face is red, his eyes bulging.

I stumble back, and fall onto the couch. He turns back to Katia.

She yelps as he smacks her across the face.

“You're getting it, Katerina! You're telling your dad and you're getting the abortion.”

My eyes widen and I grab a vase off the coffee table, smashing it over Tony's head.

Blood pours from his scalp, and Katia drops to the floor with him.

She coos in his ear, caressing his face gently.

I reach for the phone and call 911.

Katia can't stop crying,

she says she's overwhelmed.

With worry for Tony, and fear of our Dad's wrath.

And with regret for having sex with Tony.

We sit close together, but we've never felt so far apart.

And I've got one word echoing over and over in my mind.

Abortion.

Week after week,

Katia's belly gets bigger and bigger.

She's stopped going to school, even though she's still pretty agile.

I tell her friends she has mono,

and Tony's skipped town.

Katia's two months pregnant,

and there's nothing I can do about it.

Author's Note

Jeeezzzz. 13 + for inappropriate content. Mention of sex, alcohol, abuse.

I'm so bad. :P

Reviews

[J.A.N]

That entire chapter was unexpected.
Katia losing her virginity; I can see how Ana wouldn't be able to look at Katia like she used it. And I loved that you used their childhood toys, baby doll's and such.
It's a display of innocence, it captures Katia's innocence being taken away.
Taken away... Maybe that not a good use of words. Because like Ana said, she could've stopped it. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
-j