Sea legs.

Sea legs.

A Poem by vido.
"

Something of a reckoning.

"

Your voice was shaking and your body was weak.

Your bones were shattering and you could barely stand.

You did all that you could to stand up straight;

to pretend that you had the slightest bit of confidence,

but we all knew there was nothing there.

You never were much of anything.

A pile of dust that blew away with the wind.

© 2015 vido.


Author's Note

vido.
I was aiming for a simple feel. Let me know your what you think. :)

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Reviews

What a well considered metaphor. May I make a suggestion?
"but we all knew there was nothing there." This line doesn't seem as strong as all the rest. Perhaps the two theres aren't the strongest word choices. I think by reworking this line, you will take an already strong poem to the next level!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Woah that escalated quickly. I guess we all are at one point or another having ''sea legs"; unable to regain our balance when our ships are setting sail. Lovely writing. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


I think you are successful at making the feel of this simple with the title and the unsuccessful effort to attain sea legs (some never do), yet complex in its metaphor and abstract poignancy of the penultimate and final lines.

Thank you, Vido, for the uniquely thought-provoking moment shared! ⁓ Richard

Posted 9 Years Ago


a very sad comment about the value of a living being...very well written...

Posted 9 Years Ago


As a man who spends a lot of time on the ocean, I believe this is a perfect description of trying to find one's legs while the world keeps shifting beneath them...It's one of the few places where a person cannot pretend to be more than they are... either you have them, find them, or you never do...I like the juxtaposition between your photo, title and poem...

Posted 9 Years Ago



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169 Views
6 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 8, 2015
Last Updated on July 8, 2015
Tags: doubt, angst, weakness, distrust

Author

vido.
vido.

Sweden



About
Louise Vido. 21. "Sometimes I can hear my bones under the weight of all the lives I'm not living." It is a profound thing to feel so very deeply. www.louiseplace.com more..

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