i wrote this to the tune of built for sin by framing hanely. also... there are no punctuation mistakes. i meant to write it that way. i wrote it how it is supposed to sound.
My Review
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Like the song...your piece does the tune justice I think. I really like the rhythm and beat of this, and it seems as though you got some good inspiration.
"When love becomes just another lie/and even hardened men start to cry"--great lines.
Might want to check on some of the punctuation. Overall, nicely done.
Haha, how weird, that's one of my favorite songs (and favorite bands!). I also really like the lyrics that you made too. They would fit really well with the song. Again, another piece of work!
Great write! You picture the emotion & passion beautifully.
I love how the first stanza (sort of) comes back at the last.
The 3rd stanza sounds a bit weird to me, like it's kind of out of place. I haven't listened to the song, though.
I was really sucked into this one. I liked it a lot.
This part especially stood out to me:
"When love becomes just another lie,
and even hardened men start to cry."
(I know Muse beat me to it, but I had to say it. It realllly did.)
This was a powerful piece that gives you a glimpse of what it feels like when something you thought was true and beautiful may not be exactly what you thought it was.
Good lyrics, I'll have to look up the song and put the two and two together but this song has meaning too it, which is somthing songs now a days seem to lack. About the punctuation, thats good that you wrote it how it sounds, thats what your supposed to do. Poetry and Music have no true grammar rules except maybe spelling... :) great job, keep up the good work.
~Aradie