Dreams

just a quick poem i wrote when i had a huggge headache.

Oh this pounding in my head.
Reminds me of the feeling,
you gave me when you said.

Feelings are Dreams,
Influenced by fate.

Your fingers danced across the sky,
Tracing all the fallen stars.
Fate would fail tonight.

There is no control,
over the passion in the sun.
There is no choice between you and air.

I've dreamed the feelings,
When we weren't alone.
And i wake up screaming,
Shivering of the thought.
With out you..


There is no home.

Author's Note

comment review hate it love. bash it praise it. its your choice.

Reviews

[Aradie Rain]

This was sad I have to say. You did a great job like always, portraying the right emotions at the right times. I especially like the line
"Feelings are dreams, influenced by fate"
I think those words are very true and I am happy you found a way to say them.
~Aradie

[Lunar Lightning]

This is a really good poem, but I have a few grammer suggestions that would make it flow a lot better. First: it should be "Oh this pounding in my head" rather than "Oh this pounding my head" because I'm quite certain your head is not the thing that is doing the pounding, but rather it is the victim of the pounding. Second: Without is one word. But, again, I really liked the poem, it had a lot of emotion and a lot of voice. I particularly liked the one lined stanza at the end, it gave a direct and immediate end to the poem that added to the entire feel to it. Nicely written.

Luna

[snapstache]

i love it!
You're one of the few writers that I look forward to getting requests from.
The emotion is well expressed and i hope to read more like it.
Fantastic job!
*.*

[Lexi Nicole]

Sad, but with beautiful imagery and perfect flow and structure. Nice work!

-Howl

[Raven Radke]

Very lovely!
This is truely speaking out!
I see thru this creation!
It screams out! I love it!
Very wonderful!
Excellent Job!

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

again .... another great write..... you have an amazing talent:)

[AllyKinzz:)]

Again another great poem

[Taylor H.]

loved it!

[Rachael]

I like it!
Especially your last stanza. Very well written and expressed.
Nice job.

~Rachael

[Micah_s5]

I think this one's really good.