Her

To: B From: me

She is naturally the best thing that has ever happened to me, I just figured that out too late. This life I live was not as pure as her. It was an overwhelming ride that never ended. The reason for her doubts and sad soul was all because of me. My intentions weren’t supposed to feel like a stab in the heart, but of course, it did. My sequence of action was to benefit me and never her, and my self-indulgence caused the only real thing I had in my life go away. Maybe I was fearful, maybe I was hesitant or maybe it happened so quickly it passed before my eyes. I’ve never felt so assured of something than me holding her hand and staring at her flawed face and thinking to myself; this is could be my forever and I will always be at my happiest. She is the reason that love to me isn’t just something you say it actually has meaning. I know by now it’s best to stay quiet and be her friend than not have her in my life because that, losing her, will haunt me every time I play the song “apart of me.” It was never the big things with her. I never noticed the big things, or maybe there wasn’t either way, I never paid attention. I always got mesmerized into the little things. It became so detailed that I remember the color of the gum she was chewing right before she first kissed me. She always chews gum. Always. The blessing I had to meet her, to meet her oneself, to meet her insides and outs. I don’t think people will ever find themselves a person like her. It’s a precious thing to come across a person who actually lays out a whole image on what love really is. I miss her, I miss her in a way of regret and the little amount of time I had with her. But what I really long for are the exchange of words we said to each other. We could be anywhere, at any time and have the most compelling discussions. It was so simple to spill out thoughts, dreams, desires, fears with her. I know that sounds cliché but I don’t mind sounding like a helpless romantic freak. A long life away from close-minded people is what I envisioned our future would be like. A place no one knew about, a place where we called our home. The gem in our home that makes the home more valuable to come home to.