INITIATION ULTIMATE, Chapter 20.1: Narrated by Tharseo

An unexpected visitor arrives at the door of Tharseo's house.

One evening, I am startled by a loud rap on my front door.  Before opening, I take a moment to consider.  The Creatorians probably wouldn’t be kind enough to knock.  At least, they didn’t knock when they killed Mom and Dad.  It could be a trick though…  Or not.  Why would they be in the Islands, anyways?  I do know that they killed Unari, but I am certain the deed wasn’t done in person.  Who else could be at the door, then?  Another Island Initiate?  The knock repeats itself, and I open the door with a butcher’s knife prepared.

 

            The person at the door looks not of Creatorian origin, cheeks and eyes sunken inward like a starving child.  She looks about 13 like me, but she must be a younger thirteen because she’s quite small for an Initiate.  No matter the size, she holds her underfed body with pride, almost in a challenging stance.  Wait… I do a double take, giving a gasp of recognition.  This is the girl from the helicopter!  “Come in,” I say quickly, holding the door open.  I’m surprised that she can stand so proudly, given her condition.  Too weak to fight, she can’t be of any harm to me.

            As soon as she’s inside the house, the girl heads right over to one of Unari’s chairs and collapses into it.  “Food,” she rasps weakly, as I lead her over to the table.  “You happen to have any?”

            “Yes,” I nod, racing away to get a can.  I’m still quite startled… First of all, she’s the first person I’ve seen in weeks, and quite unexpected at that.  Second of all, she looks so familiar, yet so different.

 

            We stare awkwardly at each other from across the handmade table.  The girl studies at the scars on my face, and I observe the way she gulps down the canned food as if it could disappear any minute.  She doesn’t look particularly pleased with me, and I’m not very pleased having a stranger in my house, either.  I hope she doesn’t insist on staying, for it will be the death of her for sure.

            Out of all the questions and icebreakers I could have chosen, it’s “How did you get here?” that I ask.  Maybe my question choice could be considered ‘poor’ because of my isolation time.  Possibly, it’s because ‘hi, how are you’ seems too lighthearted for the situation.  Perhaps it’s because I am clueless on how to speak to girls, especially since the only girl I spoke to for the first ten years of my life was my mom.  Any girls past the first ten years just seemed to want nothing to do with me, or acted too suspiciously friendly like the Creatorian nurse.  Whatever the reason, “How did you get here?” is the icebreaker that escapes from my mouth, and the injury on the girl’s face is immediately apparent.

            “Do you always ask your guests personal questions?” she snaps.

            “No!  I didn’t mean… Gah!  What’s your name?” I stutter immediately.  “I’m Tharseo.  For courage.”

            “The name’s Handal.  For reliability,” the girl allows.  She tilts her head, studying my face.  “How’d you get those scars there?”

            Letting out a breath of annoyance, I look away.  “The only way you’ll know that is if you tell me how you got here.”

            The girl considers the options, twisting her matted brown hair between her fingers as she thinks.  “Fine, then.  It’s a deal, Mr. Personal.  My sister died during the Naming Ceremony five years ago, and I couldn’t let her go.  I just had to act like an idiot and stand up for her death in court.  At least that’s what I planned to do, and that’s what a soldier friend of mine hinted on.  I don’t really remember much.  Actually, the only thing I remember at all is meeting my best friend, Saphara, at the Fourth Honor Court and then eating a cookie.  Then, I woke up and my arms were scarred.  So, yeah.  My sister was murdered, I have a newfound anger issue, and now I’m here, basically.  Life sucks, and honestly I’m surprised I’m still alive.  Now it’s your turn.” 

A defensive one, aren’t you?  I think silently.  The girl, Handal, looks at me disdainfully as if my story can’t possibly be any worse than hers.  I blow the look right off her face using one word.  “Torture,” is all I say.

Handal’s jaw hits the floor, and her gaping stare penetrates my head for a few seconds as she waits for me to explain.  There are emotions in her eyes other than surprise, but I can’t quite make them out.  Sadness?  Pity?  Amusement?    It’s difficult to read her expression.  Finally, she speaks.  “If the only word I gave you to answer your question was ‘stupidity,’ then I don’t think you’d be satisfied,” she says after a moment, causing me to hide a little smile.  Maybe she doesn’t pity me at all, nor is very sad about what happened to me.  In that case, I might be able to get along with her!  If only she didn’t pry.

“You want me to go on?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.

“Please.”  She nods, urging me to continue.

“Never, Ms. Personal,” I mutter, referring to her earlier nickname for me.

“That’s all you’ve got?” she immediately cries, eyes lighting up.  “Show some creativity!”

“Take back my nickname!” 

There’s another awkward moment between us as we both glare in each other’s directions, Handal in a friendly, challenging way, and me, with amusement.  “Come on, Thar…  Tell the story,” she finally presses, head tilted to the side.  “Please?”

She really wants to know, doesn’t she?  A story is the least I can give her for these few minutes of human presence.  If only it wasn’t the story…  Maybe I can tell her a different one, instead.  I search my mind for a happy time in my life, but Ion suddenly screams, the blades digging into his chest…  No.  No, I can’t do this.  If I do so, I may lose control and go into one of my little episodes right in front of this stranger.

 

Pushing back the memory, I stand up and walk to the door.  This won’t do, no matter how much I am enjoying this girl’s company.  I open it and point outside, into the wilderness.   Summoning my roughest voice and expression, “Get out,” I snarl.

Handal quickly stands, the smile disappearing from her face.  She seems to want to say something to me, and then decides to keep it to herself.  A blush of embarrassment blooms on her slightly freckled cheeks, and she nervously brushes a strand of hair away from her eyes.  “Thank you for the meal,” she says instead, head bowed as she exits the house and leaves my property.  I grit my teeth as I watch her leave, wanting to tell her how much her visit had meant to me.  I guess it was the sound of a human voice that I had appreciated the most, and knowing that I’m not alone in these trials.  For the best, I try to convince myself as I watch the singular, thin, and defenseless girl disappear into the distance.

A thought suddenly surfaces in my mind.  What would Ionracas and Sofos do in this situation?  Ion, he’d probably take her in and feed her until she looked healthy enough to go off on her own.  That’s not an option for me; the Creatorians will kill her!  Sofos would probably feed her for one day, and then lend her something that could help her find her own food for the future.  I don’t have anything that I can give her but a few spare weapons and food.

“Wait a moment!” I shout without warning, speaking before my mind has a chance to process my decision. Handal turns around to see me holding three more cans and a knife.  What did you just say?  Now she’s going to depend on you and come back, my reasoning side scolds the part of me that craves human attention.

“You’re not that bad, Thar the Scar,” she says with a giggle, grinning a grin that takes up her whole face.

“Don’t call me that,” I demand emotionlessly, twitching at the nickname.  I don’t have to pretend to be ticked this time, as I’d much rather be called ‘Mr. Personal’ than a name that triggers my memories.  “And don’t think I’m doing you a favor.  I just don’t like to see people hungry.”  Seemingly immune to my stony disposition, the girl gives me a smile that could light up a whole city.  Taking the supplies into her arms, she thanks me, compliments the house, and leaves. 

 

I sleep easily tonight, an upbeat feeling running through my blood.  Maybe there is hope for positivity my life after all.  I don’t need to get close to a person to impact their lives.  Simple things can work, too.