A Dreamer's Heartbreak

Do you ever feel like you've reached a point where you can advance no further, and you just want to break away?

Oh, this limited world!

Forever bursting at the confines,

Incessantly I long for the light of freedom!

Enlighten me, comrade, do you dream?

  Do you ever want to unveil yourself from your cloak of shadows,

Shed your physical armor and emotional burdens,

And fly high into the sky above?

Do your feet ever feel bound onto the Earth,

Only to jump at highest a few feet off the ground?

This internal heartbreak produced by my limitations!

Why, if only I had the power to soar!

To cast away the weight of gravity,

And take off into the air!

One can dream, but the sky is not getting any closer…

When I walk within a veil of fog, I always know

I’m the nearest to the clouds I’ll ever get.

The pain, the throbbing pain of restrictions!

The pressure of my surroundings, still caving inward!

My heart aches to be free, and

My mind yearns to test the boundaries!

Why must I have been brought forth

With these two featherless arms

And these gravity-loving legs

When instead I could have had wings?

The weight of my soul, it is crushing me slowly…

This body, my imprisonment, is killing me gradually…

Before this pressure takes me, I have a final plea,

Release me from the weight of this world!

Author's Note

Somehow I feel like putting the poem on the other side of the page makes it feel heavier and more confined... am I strange to think this?

Reviews

[Bianca]

(^.^)/ Nice job. It truly is the viewpoint of a dreamer :D I think at some point in my life I must have felt this way too. Eventually I turned to soaring in my mind, I gave up on the world at quite an early age(not that I still think that way) - ugh this isn't about me. Sorry. You aren't strange to think this way I think it's wonderful that you think this way. Keep up the good work! COntinue to surprise your readers! - I'm just returning the love again.

[A.M. Victoria (LostWritings)]

I appreciate the review! I like hearing your perspective. You keep up the good work, too! :D
read moreI appreciate the review! I like hearing your perspective. You keep up the good work, too! :D

I've always been a dreamer, and I don't think my dreams will ever end. To have them crushed is one of my fears, because right now I feel like dreams are one of the few things that nobody is able to take away. If somebody learns how to take them away, I would feel like the walls are caving in on me and the world is limited... Hence, A Dreamer's Heartbreak. Hopefully that won't ever happen!

[Bianca]

Thanks! I will do my best!

[Emily B]

This is outstanding work and I am glad to read it. We are all angels. You will fly. I believe it. And Death? That's only a space between here and there. You are a remarkable young person and I look forward to getting to know you.

[A.M. Victoria (LostWritings)]

Thank you for the review! It's always been a dream of mine to fly... :)

[Emily B]

me too :) been a while since i spread my wings and took off

[Hanna]

Only angels have wings. And everyobody dies. And life is a mere scant in time compared to the time of the universe. Good thing your time is running out. The world needs less bad people!

[A.M. Victoria (LostWritings)]

':D Don't know what to think about this review! I'm not a bad person... At least I don't think I am... Actually everyone tells me I am quite innocent, kind, and naive for my age which is 15... :) Well as much as I don't know what to think about this review, I actually kinda enjoyed it. Gave me a laugh or two. Or three! Wait, I should stop counting now... I'm still laughing. Shows how much you people know about me. Or about my poem, for that matter. :D The poem's about someone realizing their dreams are crushed! And don't worry, you haven't crushed mine yet. :)

But I must say you have an outstanding outlook, although it's not so positive. Hope it gets better for you.

[Sami Khalil]

"The weight of my soul, it is crushing me slowly…

This body, my imprisonment, is killing me gradually…

Before this pressure takes me, I have a final plea,

Release me from the weight of this world!"

Weights are heavy to carry around. We need them gone first before we can run and be free...Bravo............................

[A.M. Victoria (LostWritings)]

Your words are very true, and they make me think. It's always a good feeling to leave the weights behind, but what is a person to do with the weight of an impossible dream? Well, thanks for the review. :)

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. You are welcome...:)........................

[Catherine Frain]

Hi, I am going to do this instead of telling what I thought over all. I will tell you what I liked or disliked about each line. My comments will be in the parentheses.

Oh, this limited world! [It's well done, just be careful of '!' points]
Forever bursting at the confines, [It's good but- ''Forever bursting at confines," may be better, but that's my opinion]
Incessantly I long for the light of freedom! [I actually don't know what incessantly means o.o]
Enlighten me, comrade, do you have dreams? [I thin it will read better if it is 'Enlighten me comrade, do you dream?']
Do you ever want to unveil yourself from your cloak of shadows, [Good imagery]
Shed your physical armor, your emotional burdens, [It might be better to separate these two, but that's just my opinion.]
And take off into the sky above? [I would find better phrasing then take off,...perhaps "And fly high into the sky above?]
Do your feet ever feel bound onto the Earth, [to me the ever in the line seems out of place]
Only to jump at the highest a few feet off the ground? [the 'the' in the 'at the highest' seems to be out of place]
This internal heartbreak produced by my limitations! [Good.]
Why, if only I had the power to soar! [Good.]
To cast away the weight of gravity, [Good]
And take off into the air! [Again, I wouldn't use take]
One can dream, but the sky is not getting any closer… [Good]
When I walk within a veil of fog, I always know [Good]
That I’m the nearest to the clouds I’ll ever get.[the line works with 'that' at the start, but it might also work without it.]
The pain, the throbbing pain of restrictions! [Good.]
The pressure of my surroundings, still caving inward! [Good]
My heart aches to be free, and [Good]
My mind yearns to test the boundaries! [Good]
Why must I have been brought forth [Good]
With these two featherless arms [Good]
And these gravity-loving legs [Good]
When instead I could have had wings? [Good]
The weight of my soul, it is crushing me slowly… [Even though we don't feel our souls this is good]
This body, my imprisonment is killing me gradually… [i would put a comma after imprisonment, the sentence it is in will be able to function without it, but it also works with it.]
Before this pressure takes me, I have a final plea, [Good]
Release me from the weight of this world! [Good]

Sorry if I seem to be to judgmental. No harm is meant by doing this.

[A.M. Victoria (LostWritings)]

This review is absolutely amazing! I don't know that much about poetry, so I really appreciate this. I'll be sure to look this poem over and use some of your suggestions. Thanks!