INITIATION ULTIMATE, Chapter 15.2: Narrated by Saphara

The effects the eyes of a Cantiko have on a human...

I'm curled up in Talaimai's tent, shivering uncontrollably.  Every sound makes me flinch, and every gust of wind through the tent flaps makes me cower, hoping that a spirit is not behind me, touching me with its energy chill.  An image is engraved in my mind:  two huge, golden eyes, staring at me, burning through my soul  with a feeling both freezing and boiling at the same time.  The moment I had seen the eyes of that monster, I had felt that my heart had been punched out of its chest.

I remember being told not to look at the eyes, and I really tried not to.  I tried to focus instead on their bulletproof backs and sides, their wolflike ears, their silken fur, and how the Cantiko would use their spindly, bulletproof fins to shield their throats and chests.   Anything, just not those mysterious golden eyes that could render their victims immobile with one shared glance.  

Nearly halfway through the battle, my focus had gone to one shooter who was crouching on his his post, a crossbow set up using the stone wall and aimed at one of the more distant creatures.  His target must have been too far in the distance, and not on the creature that had made it's way to the wall.  It had leapt up, snatching the shooter's crossbow.  As it did so, it took away one of the shooter's fingers and looked my way.  I don't know if it had even seen me, but my eyes had met the creature's.  The job had been done, and the memories had been transferred.

Hunger.  A pale boy with petrified eyes stares at the creature, shivering uncontrollably as I am now.  A blue light surrounds this boy... what is it, a reflection?  The Cantiko is shedding light on the boy with its icy blue eyes.  Only a frozen heap at the base of the wall,  this boy doesn't stand a chance, and he already knows it well.  He will die here.  But there's an instinct that humans have called 'a will to fight', and even when the circumstances are the most debilitating, that instinct still manages to kick in.

The boy's hand twitches in the direction of his scythe, which lies a few feet away.  His shuddering fingers fumble for a desperate grip.  Trembling, he raises the scythe, defiantly staring at the Cantiko before him who is waiting, patiently waiting.

There's a growl from behind, and the Cantiko looks at a larger, green eyed creature of its species.  The green eyed one dips its head, almost like a nod of approval, and the blue eyed Cantiko focuses again at the boy.  He has managed to stand, leaning on his scythe as if it is a cane.  Suddenly, the scythe's blade swings in the Cantiko's direction, aiming for the sensitive targets of neck and throat.  With its foreleg fin, the creature easily parries the blade away, sending its wielder helplessly to the ground with his only support in the distant sands.

Another growl from the green-eye.  Time for a change.  The Cantiko lunges forward biting the boy through his ribcage.  The taste of blood, the golden flash.

I crawl as fast as I can in this condition to stick my head outside of the tent and retch.  Sour fluids fill my throat, and I choke them onto the plateau, breathing in dust and coughing that out as well.  Rede gives me a sorrowful look from her campfire; she had helped me back to the plateau, but had left me alone due to my request.  Shamefully, I crawl back into the tent, tears streaming down my face.

Attenti is still down there, watching Talaimai give his commands.  I wonder if he has witnessed the effect of the golden eyes yet?

Talaimai is still down there, commanding his soldiers and using his strategies to defend the Initiations.  I wonder how many times he had looked into the creatures' eyes while plotting out a strategy to defeat them.  No wonder he is so empty inside.

When the stars' lights begin to recede from the sky, my trembling subsides and I can move about freely again.  I should clean up my mess... Upon opening the tent flaps to the outside, I see that it has already been taken care of.  Rede still sits by the campfire, head resting on a pile of logs, asleep.

"That was awesome.  You're really awesome," says a distant voice, barely reaching my ears.

"Awesome is not the word for it," a calmer voice corrects the first.  "If you perceive exhaust, pain and blood as awesome, you need to rethink your perception.  Is seeing people suffer awesome to you?  Does it entertain you?"

"I guess you're right," the first voice sighs.  "I'm just saying.  That was a good thing you did.  It must have been really difficult.  Wait, is Saphara alright?"  The voices are getting closer now.  Attenti and Talaimai walk side by side, coming nearer and nearer to their campsite.

Rede raises her head from the logs tiredly, brushing bark out of her hair.  She sees Talaimai, immediately perking up.  "Hey, welcome back," she smiles, standing up to embrace him.

"We lost one man tonight," Talaimai says, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair.  "He's not dead, but he was bitten, so we had to get two of his fingers removed to stop the venom's spread.  He was one of our best men, and now, he's unable to shoot."  

"That's unfortunate," Rede says.  "Do you have another man prepared for the job, then?"

"I think so, but he's not very well prepared.  I'll have to have someone train him so that he doesn't waste ammunition."

I watch the scene unfold, positioned halfway out of Tal's tent on my belly, arms crossed in front of me.  Attenti squats down at my side, nodding toward Talaimai and Rede.  "That's the most informational hug I've seen in my lifetime," he jokes, giving a good-natured grin.

"It's a little sad," I sigh.  It must be hard.  Rede must be the only person Tal can share his feelings with, having to maintain a fearless facade most of the time in order to protect his subordinates' confidence.

"They're pretty close," Attenti observes before turning back to me.  "Hey, are you okay?  When I saw you fall out of that tree and begin trembling, I thought you were injured pretty badly."

"Did I fall out of a tree..?"  Truthfully, I don't remember doing so.

"Yeah.  And you began twitching at the bottom like you were having small seizures."

I frown.  "Well, that explains my headache..."

"Don't worry.  You don't have to go down there anymore to watch.  Actually, I don't think Talaimai - hey, I said it right! - would let you go down there anymore if you tried."

***

During the next few days in the Initiations, we begin to adjust to the swing of things.  Rede and Talaimai set up two more tents on the plateau for Attenti and I, so we have our own.  Attenti begins learning the trade of trap-setting, and Rede continues to teach me how to find special berries and use them for certain cures.

Since we're not constantly moving all the time like we were in the beginning, I have more time to think.  It's day five when the homesickness hits me.  I wonder how 382 is faring without me; is she lonely?  She has always had a sibling in her life to keep her company, but until Talaimai returns, she'll have to live like an only child.  She doesn't have too many friends in our neighborhood to keep her company, either.

If Talaimai goes home, I think I would be lost here.  He's seventeen already, almost eighteen.  Rede's the same age. If they don't leave by Dec. 30th at eighteen years of age, they will be eliminated.  That means that at the most, I have until next Dec. 30th to prepare myself for life without my guardians.  It's January right now, so I have around 11 and a half months to prepare.  Of course, if I wanted to leave as early as possible like some people do, I'll only have to live a half of a month on my own.  But then, I wonder how 382 will find her place in the Initiations.  She wouldn't have any guardians, unless a stranger offered to show her the ropes.  Could I really trust a stranger to protect my little sister, after all that I've seen already?

Do I want to go home to my family and start up my schooling early, or do I want to stay and risk my life as Talaimai and Rede have done in order to protect future Initiates from harm?  My thoughts and feelings point to home, but my conscience points to staying.  There's a third variable, too:  the value that I have to prove while I'm here.  What would the value of Journey do?

Author's Note

Constructive Criticism would be appreciated!