Remorseful

Climbing up from rock bottom, facing this bitter regret.

Years have passed and you’ve rightfully departed,

Now in this valley I stand alone.

The pack on my back is weighing me down,

And my egotistical history has given me wounds

But there is still one way to reach the top.

Still a second chance…

One way to overcome the eternity of loneliness,

The life I have been condemned to suffer,

Lent to me by my own narcissism and foolishness,

Branded into my flesh by my remorse

Pursuing my Achilles’ heel endlessly,

Teeth bared, and yearning for my blood…

 

So I sharpen a rod from a fallen branch,

Make peace with my ancestors,

Find myself in my intentions,

Paint upon my face my true colors, and

Shout to the Astros a battle cry…

I begin my walk, overcoming gravity

Climbing up the mountain, one rock, one foot at a time

Always stepping forward and not looking back,

Following my future, finding my stability

Capturing my arrogance and beating it humble

Until it plummets, valley-bound, and

Never to return.

 

For the future is the only thing I admire now,

And it dances at the top of this peak,

A separate entity from myself

Encouraging me, smiling, whispering the truth

That I must continue taking one step at a time,

Pursuing righteousness and facing my insecurities

Looking my demons in their devilish eyes,

And banishing them to hell...

Because once I’m at the top of this mountain,

I’m not coming down.

I’m not returning to that valley below.

Please forgive me.

I’m sorry.

Author's Note

One of my greatest fears is regret. Regret makes me remorseful. Then I start beating myself up over it.

Reviews

[seraphicAlisah]

This is what exactly I'm feeling all this time and this piece made me realize that I have to face the truth that I can't keep on blaming and looking to my past and that I must admit that I failed myself, my family and the people who supported me.

"For the future is the only thing I admire now"
Yeah. You're right. We just have to continue to step forward and make better decisions in the future than we ever did before. :)

[A.M. Victoria (LostWritings)]

I agree! Sometimes situations arise where we'd rather blame another, and it's not until we sit back and think about it that that we realize that maybe we played a larger part all along. The good thing is that we can adapt to create a better future, even if we can't change the past.

Well, thanks for the review! It's good to know that someone understands these words. See you at the summit, if you know what I mean. :)

[AbigaleWilliams]

Darling, your work is lovely. Just ignore this "Hanna" person. She knows not the meaning of the words she speaks.

[A.M. Victoria (LostWritings)]

Thanks! :)

[Hanna]

p.s. You should have remorse!!!! TONS OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[A.M. Victoria (LostWritings)]

Sorry Hanna, I don't know you.

[FlatLineBeauty]

We all have regrets and your poem was very touching. I enjoyed it. Just remember like you said in the end you will not be returning and you're not going back down. Keep that spirit and keep pressing on. xo Winter

[A.M. Victoria (LostWritings)]

Thanks so much for the review and the encouragement! Very thoughtful.

[FlatLineBeauty]

Anytime darling :)

[Kt k]

I enjoyed reading this poems i like the last couple of lines
Im not returning to that valley bellow
I also like the line i stand in this valley all alone it speaks a lot of depth

[A.M. Victoria (LostWritings)]

Thank you! My goal there was to show the protagonist learning from his or her mistakes. I'm glad it shows depth. :)

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write...:)......................

[A.M. Victoria (LostWritings)]

I appreciate your kind words, thanks! :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)...................