A Father's Pain

I was there to see your eyes

    When first they blessed the earth

Just you and me and Mommy

    On the day we gave you birth

I brought you home and held you

     By the light of your first tree

Your stocking hung by Victor’s

     And your presents wrapped by me

I was there to see you

     When a smile first blessed your face

And when Mommy dressed you pretty

     In a dress with bows and lace

I watched you grow, and loved you so

     With every passing day

I took you many places

     And adored you many ways

 

Yes, I was there for all the fun

     And all the tough times too

Like when the Doctor’s fixed you heart

     I prayed and prayed for you

I waited up through all the night

     And stayed right by your bed

I spoke to you and held your hand

     And gently kissed your head

I told you I was sorry

     For the pain I put you through

But soon it would be better

     And it was the best for you

You bounced right back and very soon

     You were yourself again

And Daddy thought we did okay

     To trust you with those men

But I was wrong, and before long

     As Halloween drew near

You started to get sick

     And I started to feel fear

I didn’t get to take you

     With your Brother door to door

You didn’t wear a costume

     Like the Halloween before

 I knew you needed something

     But I didn’t do a thing

The weekend soon was over

     And at work I got the ring

I didn’t know that morning

     When I combed your precious hair

I’d never see your eyes again

     Or hold you in a chair

 

I didn’t know good-bye

     Was going to be forevermore

And when I got that phone call

     My heart dropped to the floor

Yes, I was there for many things

     But not that final day

I wasn’t there when angels came

     To take my girl away

I hope you thought of Mommy

     When you reached up for the light

She loved you more than life itself

     And she was there that night

She didn’t leave you Tia

     She was with you till the end

One day I know if you had lived

     You two would have been friends

 

I want you now to understand

     From Heaven up above

How deeply Daddy misses you

     And wishes for you love

I promise you I will be there

     For Mommy and the rest

And always in the future

     I will give my very best

To all the little children

     Jesus sends me from the sun

In hopes that you’ll forgive me

     For the things I should have done

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

The Poem is cut intentionally short by one verse.

Reviews

[Avery James]

Oh my. What a heart-wrenching poem. I felt tears coming as I read this and I definitely had goosebumps! I'm so sorry. You've written a remarkable piece and I felt every emotion you intended it to pass. Absolutely wonderful.

"I hope you thought of Mommy
When you reached up for the light
She loved you more than life itself
And she was there that night
She didn't leave you Tia
She was with you till the end"

The usage of Tia's name makes her real and is a superb impact point.

[Annette Lemma]

This one made my cry as I remember Tia's short life. We all blame ourselves - maybe you the most, but we all blame ourselves. I guess as our little consolation, God makes us aware of how blessed we were to have known her and had her in our lives.
Nothing would make this poem better, except a completely different stanza 3 that could have changed forever for all of us.