The Final Act

a look at self-hatred

On the first day the circus was in town, the crowd assembled in the brightly colored tent expecting to see a dazzling display of gravity-defying acrobatics and powerful yet graceful animals performing a plethora of tricks. Backstage, the ladies mounted their elephants, the tigers were loaded in their cages, and the acrobats readied themselves for the performance. The acts lined up, ready to enter the rings, and the show commenced.

After all the other acts had performed and received their adulations, it was time for the finale - the smartest tiger in the world. His name was Victor, and he could perform dozens of tricks on the spot. People came from thousands of miles away just to see him do some kind of amazing antic. His trainer placed a keyboard in front of him and played “Little Brown Jug” on a tape, which Victor then replicated on the keyboard flawlessly. The trainer held up a sign with the word “Jump” on it, and the tiger leaped in the air upon seeing it. A huge, wire crate was lowered into the center ring, filled with tuna and locked with several padlocks. Within minutes, Victor picked all the locks and pulled the crate apart to enjoy his tuna treats.

At the conclusion of the tiger’s act, the audience stood, thoroughly impressed. “That’s some cat they’ve got there,” remarked a gentleman.

“And how! We definitely got our money’s worth,” added a lady as the crowd slowly vacated the tent.

After Victor was loaded into his cage, the tigress in it curled up against him with the words, “You wowed them again, didn’t you, Mr. Genius?” and licked his nose. “You’re the best performer not only out of the tigers, but the whole menagerie!”

“Everyone tells me that, like I’m some kind of king,” he sighed. “Anyone who really knew me would think otherwise.”

“How so?” An inquisitive look appeared on the tigress’ whiskered face.

“I wasn’t always a ‘master performer’ as everyone thinks I am. I used to be such a brutish thing, devouring every piece of dirty flesh I could possibly get to…” His face made clear that he was descending into reverie.

“All tigers do that,” replied the tigress. “You were doing what any cat would have done in your place. What is there to be ashamed of?”

“I don’t know… I can’t understand why people are celebrating me so. What do they find of merit in a miserable heap of fur like me?” He curled up into a ball and fell asleep, hoping to escape the torments of his own judgments.

Victor saw himself in the jungle of his youth. He was with his siblings, watching as their mother took down a deer.

As the family gathered around the corpse, the mother announced, “Soon you will be able to do this for yourselves. Tomorrow I shall start your hunting lessons.”

“Oooh! This will be fun!” said one of the cubs.

“I bet I can do it better than you,” challenged Victor to his brother.

“Oh yeah? Just you wait! I’ll catch mine first,” said the brother, Jimmy.

“Now, the point isn’t about who does it first- that has nothing to do with anything,” said their mother.” Tomorrow we will all start learning together.”

The scene then morphed to one where Victor and his brother were chasing after the same deer. “It’s mine!” yelled Victor.

“You wish! You couldn’t catch it to save your life!” Jimmy sprinted ahead of Victor and gained the lead. The deer, who was running out of energy, zigzagged across the meadow.
Victor, picking up on the pattern, rushed to intercept the deer’s next turn, temporarily gaining the lead.

The deer, now incapable of running further, began to slow down. Just as Victor lowered himself to pounce, his paw got caught in a thorny bush, allowing Jimmy to jump ahead and claim the prize.

“Ha!” laughed Jimmy. Beat you!” He did a simple victory dance.

“You didn’t earn that! I had it! I just got my paw stuck. It’s mine!” Victor scowled.

“Too late, Mr. Hunting King! You’ll never win anything. You don’t have what it takes,” mocked Jimmy, his tail high in the air.

“You usurper!!” Victor began to pounce. He could see Jimmy’s startled expression below him, but just before they made contact, Victor awoke.

Victor opened his eyes to feel the tigress nudging him. “C’mon, it’s almost time for the next show,” she gently reminded him.

“Dang,” answered Victor. “So I have to go and make an embarrassment out of myself again,” he sighed and slowly began to rise with his head down.

“How is outdoing every act in the show making an embarrassment of yourself?”

“I am pretending to be something I’m not. I am a nothing,” he answered and let out a small sigh.

As the show was due to start again soon, the whole company franticly darted to their opening positions. The audience assembled, the initial acts completed their performances, and it was nearing time for Victor’s act.

This time, there was a chart of various words. He was supposed to look at the words and place his paw on the one that answered a question read to him. The spotlights focused on Victor and the trainer read the first question. “Complete this quotation by Shakespeare- ‘___‘ is the soul of wit.’”

Victor placed his paw on the word, “Brevity”. “Correct!” cheered the trainer, who then read the second and third questions, which Victor, as usual, aced. The trainer congratulated Victor, as did the audience. “Here, my boy,” said the trainer as he tossed a huge chunk of meat into the ring. “You deserve it!”

Victor dragged his prize meat back to the trailer after the show. He arranged the straw around it, making a pretty placemat. I’ve never been any greater than this meat, he thought to himself. Such a thing is worthy of nothing but consumption, as am I. My fate and that of the meat shall be one, and the world shall be rid of such worthlessness... With that, Victor ate the meat.

However, he didn’t stop there. After he was through with the meat, he took a bite out if his own tail and proceeded to eat himself. He had become the very nothing he thought he was before.

The tigress came back to the trailer after the show. Her beloved mate was gone! How? Why? She would never know.

Reviews

[Felix]

I like it,but..I'm left with some nagging questions. How did the tiger eat himself whole? o.0. It seems there was a backstory here, with the flashback memory but it got cut short. It does have potential though.