3 july 2022

romanian assignment in 8th grade, translated to english. i was also very proud of this one at the time

I'm in the old house of my family, which is currently for sale. The fact that you don't know about that is weird. Every time I look out the window, I remember how we would sit on the grass in the garden and talk the whole night; or how you kissed me one night.
So I'm writing you now with my back leaning against the wall of what used to be my room, now empty except the heavy dust resting all around me. This is the room we once had our fun in until we decided that doing it in the same house as my siblings is not a good idea. It's late in the evening, but no one bothered to ask me anything when I left the house, taking the old keys with me. I bet you'd find that weird, wouldn't you? I get terribly upset when I think about how you're so far away from me and I don't even know where my letter should be sent.
I want you to know that I can't stop thinking about the way you would talk to me so gently. Every word you said would be so captivating to me! I can't stop thinking about the way your eyes would get all sparkly when you'd talk about art - your favorite topic in this entire world.
And I can't stop thinking about the way you had so much freedom and how relaxed you were all the time. The way your voice would never shake when speaking your opinions; the way you seemed to never care if you broke any rules or the way you'd be so calm, no matter what happened. You made me feel so safe.
I don't know if I didn't realize or if I simply refused to acknowledge that I am in love with you until you kissed me that night. But I know for sure that the moment you did so, I had no doubt about loving you. I couldn't let go of your hand that night, and I could hear both of our hearts thumping in our chest with excitement and with "oh f**k I can't believe this is happening". F**k homophobes. F**k everybody who thinks this isn't right. It was us, and us only. And that's all that has ever mattered - because we loved each other.
Anyway, I, once more, can't stop thinking about the way you promised you would never forget me. And that promise went to hell.
When you went away, without a warning, and without replying to a single letter I have sent you since then - and I wrote you a lot - it hurt. It hurt so damn much, and it still does. I promise that I did not forget you and I will never be able to. I hope that, anywhere you are you have even more freedom than you had here.
I miss you so so much.