VII. The Desert

“This isn’t real”

 

The roof fell behind me and I pushed the charcoal figure aside. When I took away all the people who had built me like this, I felt a sense of freedom. I felt the rain pour over me, and tasted the mixture of water and tears. I was still trapped in the city, so I weaved and made it to a main road that seemd to go nowhere and started my travel away. A journey starts with a single step – I took my first step amidst the tremendous noise of everything crashing around me.

 

***

 

The rain seemed endless and my feet were dragging, creating whirlpools wherever I went. After a while I stopped looking at the patterns, or looking at the sky, and I just stared onwards into the neverending horizon. Maybe I hoped that something would come up, or maybe it was the lack of desire to look for an alternative.

 

I watched a black umbrella float past, handle reaching upwards invitingly, but I had no desire to save it. I could hear the city crumbling behind me. It and everything associated with it. I didn’t want to pause and besides, I was enjoying the rain splashing in my hair. I hoped they were soaking into my brain. The rain washed away the faint smell of coffee and the metals of the buildings. The bustling whispers of the street were covered by the echoing droplets. Everything tumbled to oblivion behind me and I walked.

 

I walked through the water in a half-awake daze.  A fog had settled over the chaos, leaving me only with a line of dim street lights to follow and I followed for no other purpose than my pride. I felt like I couldn’t stop now, I couldn’t be distracted, so I walked.

 

A portion of time passed. I don’t remember how many hours, or how many days. All I know was that when it ended I found it difficult to remember the city, and the field was even farther away.

 

At some point, after I could no longer feel my feet, I stumbled over a rock and fell to my knees. My hands fell through wet sand and though I could get them out, when I saw my hands covered in mud I no longer had the energy required to stand. The exhaustion had finally reached my body and I looked – for the first time in a long time - to the sky.

 

It was night, dark clouds covered the entire expanse of sky. Lightening crashed and through the light I saw all that surrounded me. Sand dunes and desert and nothing at all for miles bar the small silver cracks where the sky had scorched the sand.

 

I let my head fall into the dunes and soon I fell asleep and fell into yet another dream.

 

***

 

I dreamt of the boy, in slow motion this time. When he began leaving the train something white and papery fell through the air. There was writing on it but I couldn’t drag my eyes away from him leaving me. Not even in my dreams…

 

***

 

I felt something brush against my skin and lift my hair gently out of my face. I smiled and reached out my arms. I opened my eyes to see that I was hugging what seemed to be a giant’s finger. The hand scooped me up, and I crawled, afraid, to the center of it’s upward facing palm. I saw no giant’s face… but I saw the desert filled with hands, escaping silently from the sand. Some looked as if they were yawning.

 

I brushed my tiny hands against the grooves and lines. It seemed to move in response but it was near still, and I assumed that was so I did not fall. I whispered thankyou. It danced in the wind as a response and I laughed, a whole sounding laugh.

 

I looked at my tiny feet, my small pale legs. I was wearing a small silk dress with a big orange stain. I smiled and lay back to watch the clouds. The light shifted so quickly, and soon it was the evening, with long strange shadows all over the land and a quality of light so beautiful I could hardly sit still and watch it, but I did.

 

The sun began to set and I watched the orange and blue collide into purple like a lava lamp, there were no clouds but the silohuettes on the horizon of everything I had seen were laid out before me in what seemed like tiny inked outlines to God’s creation. I stood entranced as the colours faded quicker than I thought and hoped for, and slowly small stars lit up the sky. It was just like home.

 

Without thinking I reached into my pocket and dragged out a small white papery thing. It contained the following words:

 

Goodnight Darling. Xoxo.

 

Reviews

This is really good ruby..
xoxo
-ST