II. The Void

The bright light burned my eyes and I shut them. At first all I could see was the red light of my eyelids. A life’s worth of sun spots attacking my brain and coarsing through me, forcing my body to shake and my ears to ring with white noise. I felt a sickness hit the back of my skull and shock downwards into my gut.

I began to cry.

 

It felt like the tears were coming from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. The wrenching crying that you hear from little children on the streets, heartbroken because they lost their doll, before you toughen up and become mature. This was those tiny paper cuts that stay with you under the layers of old skin.

 

I cried until I couldn’t breathe. My face was stained with salt and I was gasping for air when I felt a voice telling me not to open my eyes. I squeezed my eyelids closed and it felt as though everything was gently fading. I stopped crying for one, and was stuck in some sort of shocked pause. Ready for consoling so I could rest.

 

The darkness seemed to get darker then, dark and spacious. I let go, letting blackness and silence coat me. I couldn’t feel myself shake. I could barely feel myself at all. All I had was the sense that something was protecting me, rocking me, letting me safely fall through this oblivion.

 

Through the silence I heard David Bowie gently singing, “Makes no sense at all, Makes no sense to fall, Falling, As the world falls down, Falling… Falling…”

I let one more tear stream down my cheek before wondering not if I was dead, but if this is what it felt like to become alive.

 

Reviews

very short chapter and all i know is she's falling down somewhere.. like alice in wonderland?
but it still holds my interest and i am still reading ^^
-ST