Within herself

read to find out

She spent all day thinking ,

and all night dreaming,

her mind was never at peace,

her heart was never at rest.

She had hopes,

hopes so high,

she had dreams,

how could she lie.

She had wishes,

some too hard to wish.

She was pure,

to the deepest cell in her body,

she was genuine ,

so much that it was hard not to notice it.

Yet it is a dangerous world,

for someone so gentle as her,

she soon was broken,

her hopes had vanished,

her dreams were no more,

her heart was shattered.

She remained such,

for quite some time,

hopeless and dead,

at soul and in dept.

Strength was within her,

she wasn't that innocent anymore,

he who hurt her would pay,

tears were of the past,

regret couldn't even last.

She has become what she most feared,

that little creep in her soul that whispered every night,

she had become what she had tried to run from,

she had become the she , she despised,

heartless and rotten,

dark and forgotten.

The only thing that could bring herself back,

was no one,

was nothing,

but herself,

she had to fight ,

the monster that inflicted her mind ,

the one that took control,

the second she had left her guard down.

She raised her spirits high,

she told herself what she never wanted to hear,

it was time to end this,

the pain ,

the suffering,

the tremor in her life,

the punishment she had let herself rot in,

it was time to heal, it was time to feel.

She needed to do it,

she needed to forgive,

oh but how could she forget,

that which caused her endless nights of despair,

long days of the blues,

cold weathers all year long.

How could she forget? could she ever forget?

She pulled herself together,

she looked in the mirror,

saw not herself,

but that which she hates most,

greed, and guilt,

leather not silk.

Her white and clear face with red lips which

 once she had, had turned grey and dull,

the light she ignited was long gone and off.

The sparkle in her eye, was shut down and plain,

where was she? this was clearly not herself,

it couldn't be, it wouldn’t be.

She fought,

days and nights,

she fought,

for long enough,

she was soon to give up,

but instead,

she took herself in a haze,

and said,

i love you,you beautiful creature,

i love you, you misunderstood solace,

i love you, you unique set of circumstances,

i love you, you evil thought,

i love you, you ,

i love you, and by you

she meant herself.

She stopped fighting ,

and started winning,

she found herself in the midst of illusion,

and the depths of despair,

she had won, she had conquered,

that of which no one speaks,

and no one asks,

the little demon inside each one of us,

she had won, she was beautiful

she was powerful,

she was she,

and such would she remain.        

Reviews

[AliciaB]

I love the way this poem reflects the thoughts that so many of us secretly have. The somewhat chaotic structure, especially in the parts where there is a lot of repetition, mirrors the way that we speak to ourselves. You have done a wonderful job of capturing the emotional and mental turmoil that so many people experience in times when they feel broken. Great work!

[vili]

Thank you so much , means a lot that you took your time to read it :)

[J.A]

This is something most people go through without acknowledging it. That a heart break or a specific moment can take away their "spark". I love in the end the speaker mentioned she "remained". Because most people build walls, and forget who they are. This poem can bring hope for those who have lost themselves.

[vili]

i love the way you understood the poem, really glad you think that way , thanks :)

[Chris]

"dept"?

Finding oneself is an important part of living. Life isn't fair but we can only "deal" as our inner strength empowers... this piece IS about such strength.

[vili]

Thanks for your critical opinion :) it means a lot.

[zunie frost]

i love this poem !! have a hysterical time reading it !! it have a soft gentle touch
thanks for sharing such an outstanding piece of work !! well done
keep it up !!
100 points !! you got yourself a regular reader !! i wanna see what you come up with next so don't forget to send me reading request !!

[vili]

This made me so happy :) thank ou so much, I'll make sure to send you a request , you do too ;)

[zunie frost]

was my pleasure dear friend