For Three Years

A free verse piece about loving someone so much you feel as though your identity is attached to it and losing them would mean losing you entirely.

I am so in love that it feels like i sold my soul in exchange for his love.

Except he has autonomy. He can leave whenver he desires. And when that time comes, my soul will be sucked out of me and consumed. 
Every time he walks away, every time he shrugs when I say I’d rather die than live this way, I feel a part of my soul crack.

I am so in love that when he is with others, I wonder what is making him laugh. I wonder what could possibly more thrilling, more beautiful and more worth your time than being with me, sharing in this feeling. This feeling. God it’s thick and real and alive but it is not tangable. It is not visible but it is alive. And you. You are my identity. You are the solid foundation on which I have built my life on. 

My love for you is sickening.

It is raw, f*****g terrifying, and all consuming because as I put all in you, I take nothing for myself. I am in a losing situation; in your presence I am denied and brushed off and in your absence I am withered and dusty. I can’t scream, I can’t cry, I can’t run or walk away… I can only be. I can only feel. And I can only love you. Nothing else and never failing, I know I can only love you.

Reviews

[Rainy420]

I once read that you should not let anyone hold your happiness because if they leave they take it with them. Hold your happiness close, in your own heart, and protect it. Excellent writing. You have a lot of courage. VERY real.

[Kimberly Navarro]

Woah. Deep but at the same time i feel the emptiness depicted in this love. Intense yet withering. Strong feelings yet weak for the love. Uuughhh. Beautiful yet ugly feelings. Yep. Sounds about right, this sick live we all know and yet dont know at the same time. This has inspired something different in me. Thanks for sharing this honesty

[A. Amos]

Jac my friend i have seen my romantic souls but you have your own style, the guy you wrote for he is lucky but still in lost world. Should have been worshipping you but he simply ignored. That is my feeling as your friend, as far as your writing is concern your very good. Your readers connect with you and that is your victory........

[Shaquana Adams]

Every time he walks away, every time he shrugs when I say I’d rather die than live this way, I feel a part of my soul crack.

I absolutely love this poem. Brilliant words. Brilliant concept. Just...brilliant! Thanks for sharing! :)