I Waited

I waited for you.

gave up my mind for you.
turned down a fine dime for you.

I waited.

every moment I spent with you I treasured.
still do.
you make me want to fly and rip my hair out at the same time.
i can't believe I wasted all that time...
I waited.

You didn't hold me, you didn't kiss me, you didn't love me like I wanted you to.
or you wanted you to.
you made me believe that I was something worthwhile.
like I was a somebody to somebody.
I wanted you. I wanted. you.

I pictured my life with you.
the big house.
the wrap around porch.
maybe a wedding, some children.
I wanted you, but I gave up.

And now that I've finally found someone who would do something,
who holds me, who kisses me, who loves me--I'm fine.
I love him, kiss him, hold him. I'm fine.

I forget.

I love him. I can love him. then you..you come back with a vengeance.
you talk to me like we're together, like I'm your other, like you..like me.
give me advice on a******s and good guys. to make sure he's a good guy.
But make sure I know that you are a good guy.

In fact, that you're the best. If you could be with me, you would.
But always the first thing you bring up in a conversation is him.
so how is he?
is he treating you right?
I'll kill him.

and now I remember why I didn't let you go.
and I should.
because I can love him, and I waited.
for you. for us.

but you didn't say a word and I was left to wonder what it would be like.
left to plan my life around you just to change it for someone else.

I love him.
I love you more.

I can't stop loving you because I waited so long.
I wanted so long.
I shouldn't be feeling this way.
you don't deserve my feelings. give them back.

not that you know you have them.

why do you keep changing my mind.
stop bringing me back to your trapping unsaid words I imagined and lived by.
I hate that you do this to me.
let me love someone else.
I don't want to need you anymore.
We're over even though we didn't start.
I want to try with him.
something new that I can want.

But I fear that I'm still waiting.

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

In the first place and perhaps the last,
you dont choose the person you love,
you choose the person you are with .
Some women say they always choose
the wrong man----- if you choose the
wrong man=== rethink your values.
You have chosen him for all the wrong
reasons and once you have made the
wrong choice, you fall in love and then
it becomes an insoluble condition.
Good luck,
----- John

[Victoria]

Thank you very much. I'm learning how to choose for myself now. I'm not waiting anymore.

[disconnectedspirit]

and worthy to note..did you help them forget you?

[disconnectedspirit]

people are not replacements..you either love them or you do not, not to be used to forget, I find this poem chilly, it is a good poem, but I see immaturity in why relationships exist..

[disconnectedspirit]

you should never be with someone you do not love..the poem says I like..that is not fair to the other party..it is cruel

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Oh I know this........it seems they give us exactly what we want when they don't give us what we want.......yes, you will understand what I am saying. Excellent!