Alone

Story about a guy struggling with loneliness

            I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my window. It didn’t sound like one person but more like multiple raindrops each hitting the glass rapidly and seemed to shake the house in its entirety. I looked over to my alarm clock on the nightstand to my right and it was flashing 3:00 A.M. Panicked, I stumbled out of my old worn down bed to turn on the lights on the other side of the room. In the darkness my room looked like a battlefield harboring land mines. Being a college student many bottles, cans, and god knows what else littered my floor. The only light source in the room came from my dim computer monitor screen, which rested on my desk. The jagged edges of my work desk in the darkness looked like swords carried by soldiers ready for battle. I had to be careful. The last thing that I wanted was to stub my toe or get hurt in a situation that might be fight or flight. The sound, of what I could only describe as marching, chased me through my room and the closer I got to the light switch the louder the sound grew. Finally, I threw the switch, and light flooded my bedroom. There was only myself and silence.

            “What the hell” I said out loud to myself. I began to try to think of a rational explanation for what just happened. Nothing, it was completely unexplainable. I live alone in a rural area, outside of my house is a highway and the rest of the area is wilderness aside from the few neighbors. The closest area that even slightly resembles civilization is a couple miles away. I mustered up enough courage in myself to check out my window. I saw nothing but an empty street, dimly lit by one street lamp, its orange glow casted shadows that played with my already paranoid mind. “Why would there be people out at this time of night anyway?” I thought. I looked over at the alarm clock, now flashing brightly 4:30 A.M.

            “Ugh” I complained to myself. “The thought of waking up early tomorrow makes me wish whoever it was would just come in and kill me already.” I jokingly said, trying to ease my own nerves’. I left my room and did a solid check of the house to make sure the doors were locked. Everything seemed okay, and by the time I was done it was pushing five o’ clock, giving me roughly less than four hours of sleep before I had to wake up for work. “Great” I muttered to myself as I slowly nestled back into bed and fell asleep.

            The next morning I was startled awake by my alarm clock. The time 8:00 A.M. flashed widely on its digital screen. With a great yawn, I rose out of my bed and rushed to get ready for work. I work at the local gas station as a summer job in between semesters of school; it helps keep me busy and also slightly pays my tuition cost. It’s not the best job, but it definitely could be worst. As I grabbed my car keys from the top drawer of my desk, I cautiously glanced at the window that the sound came from the night before. “Maybe I’m just stressed?” I said to myself. Either way it creeped me out and I was definitely ready to leave that house for the day.

            Going through the door of the Gas station, slightly late as usual, the bell above the door rang signaling my arrival.

            “Hey Nick, finally decide to show up, huh?” A red headed girl behind the counter said smiling widely at me. It was my best friend Jennie; we’ve been friends as long as I can remember. All the way up from elementary school till now, we actually decided to work our first job together to make it more bearable and it definitely has helped.

            “Hey Jennie, you are always in a bright mood aren’t you?” I said teasingly, walking up to give her a hug. While mostly joking, her ability to always be happy and shine the brightest in the room was a characteristic that I always envied and secretly looked up to.

 

            “Well, what can I say whenever I get to work with my best friend?” Jennie exclaimed which made me smile. That was the first time I had smiled earnestly in a while and shortly after my mouth quickly changed back to its idle straight position. Noticing my sudden change in emotion, Jennies tone deepened. “Are you doing okay by yourself Nick? Living alone can be really hard.”

            Taking the time to choose my words right, I hesitated “Yeah…I’m doing fine.” I sheepishly replied. The truth is she was right living alone is hard. The sameness and loneliness gets to you. Some nights I feel like my brain is caving in from all the thoughts that I have and no sane way to vocally express them. I didn’t want her to worry about me; she has enough on her plate as is. I forced a small smile to her, which she eagerly accepted beaming at me brightly. “Everything is great there is no need to worry abou-.” A small flier on the door next to Jennie made me stop in my tracks. “Isn’t that Abigail Wulnur?!” 

            Jennie spun around to look at the poster on the wall “Yeah… she went missing this morning.” She muttered looking down. Abigail is a girl that Jennie and I went to high school with, we were never close, but we occasionally would hang out in groups at parties and dances. The large letters on the poster spelled “MISSING” bored into my mind.

            “How?” I said, my mouth hung, gaped open.

            “Authorities haven’t figured out yet. One second she was there and the next…gone.” Jennie whispered, trying to hold back her emotions.

            It was baffling. Most people who graduated with us were worrying about school or trying to find a job. Hell, some past classmates even had kids and a family of their own to worry about now. No matter the situation, everybody that graduated with us had a situation, or at least I thought. I sighed; this just shouldn’t happen I thought to myself. I walked over to Jennie, who was now crying, and consoled her. After a while, our boss told us to get back to work saying that we were slacking on the job, if only he knew.

            The rest of the night went about as well as it usually does. I usually pretend to work at the cash register for a while until its late enough for me to sneak into the storage closet to take a nap. It’s not that comfortable, but it beats working. When I wake up Jennie is waiting for me at the entrance of the store.

            “You know you are going to get caught one day right? I’m not going to be the one to bail you out either.” She said, as she picked the store key up.

            “Yeah, I know. I know. I should honestly probably stop while I still have a job right?” I laughed going through the gas station exit door.

            “Mhm.” Jennie chimed in, close behind me locking the doors behind us, now basking in the light of the parking lot spotlights. “Well, another day’s work done.” She said yawning, obviously exhausted. “I’m going to head home and get some serious rest.” She exclaimed, as she gave me a bear hug. “Night loser!” she mocked, leaving me alone underneath the lights.

            Back home, struggling to get to sleep, I sat blankly staring at my TV. I shouldn’t have taken that nap at the gas station I thought. I not only can’t sleep, but I also completely screwed Jennie over with our shift. “Ugh. I’m such an idiot.” I said out loud. I would have probably kept belittling myself all night, but my pity party was interrupted by the sounds of footsteps. Oh god not again. Panicking, I rushed to my room and sure enough it was coming from the window. The digital clock on my bed side rapidly flicked 3:00 A.M. like a warning sign screaming at me to get out. The marching pounded on the glass like knocks on a door, wanting nothing more to be guests that I didn’t invite. Enough was enough I decided. With all the courage I could muster I peered out the window and what I saw I could not believe.

            Outside underneath the dim street lamp was a marching band. There were brass and woodwind players lined up in formation marching along the edges of the road carefully in step with one another, horns to their lips. The flags danced and twirled in various colors that bounced off the light making beautiful shadows on the road. Percussion instruments trailed behind the band banging brashly on their bass drums and snares. This madness was all being led by one conductor at the front of the band waving his arms madly, his hands feverishly moving wildly in the air. It was silent, except for the loud rapid movement of the marcher’s feet on the hard street outside.

I was horrified, but at the same time in awe of what I was seeing. I slowly backed away from the window and made my way outside.  I walked out into the night air, which cut into me and chilled me to the core. I stepped off my porch and onto the road. The marching stopped dead in its tracks, and the band turned to look at me. The members slowly divided letting the conductor through who looked at me with a confused glance, which I returned.

“Hello?” The conductor said, with an amused look.

“Uh, hi.” I said back cautiously. Pinching myself to make sure this wasn’t a dream.

The band members around us all looking down wore sad defeated faces that did not want to meet mine.

“Who are you?” I stammered, getting even more nervous. “And what do you wan-.” I stopped. Scanning the crowd I clearly recognized the blonde clarinet player in the front. Abigail Wulnur was standing right in front of me. I lost it.

“What did you do to her!?” I said in rage at the conductor. Fully expecting there to be chains attached to her, but there wasn’t.

“Nothing, this was her choice.” He calmly goaded back at me. “Much like the rest of my band.” The other band members slightly looked up in acknowledgment.

“Abby is this true?” I shouted at her wanting some answers. In response she continued to look down ashamed.

“They are free to come and go as they please.” The conductor said offended. “Most are just running from a life they needed to escape from.” He said sadly with legitimate care in his voice. “That’s what I do. I give them a new life until they’re ready to go back, some never do go back though.” The conductor looked at the band around him with sad eyes.

“How could you leave Abby? People are trying to find you!” I shouted. In response she continued to look down ashamed starting to tear up.

The conductor gave me a glare, “Hey! Do not chastise her decisions. She made them on her own. You know what it feels like to be lonely. That is why I am here tonight, to invite you to our band.”

I was floored. The idea of leaving everything behind made me feel confused. Starting a new life, it sounded unreal, like something from a fairy tale. Living alone sucked, I’ve been lying to myself, trying to enjoy a way of life that really was not meant for me and yet I chose. Why? To feel a sense of independence or to meet some kind of coming of age standard, I’m not sure. It’d be so easy just to join this band and just leave. Leave everything behind, my horrible job, my horrible life style, my best friend. I couldn’t leave Jennie I owe her that much, she’s always been there for me in the end and I need to at least stick around for her.

“No” I replied. “I have a life here.”

The conductor made a surprised face “Huh, nobody has ever declined my invitation before. Well, suit yourself; we have a very busy schedule that we must be attending to. We must be getting to the next city.” He said merrily pulling out his conducting stick. With that he returned to the front of the band and they started to march again.

“Abby, promise me when you can you will come home.” I pleaded to her.

Slowly she lifted her head “I promise, when I’m better, I will.” Then she turned around and marched away with the band.

So many things were going through my head after that. Exhausted, I go back inside and into my room. Slowly falling into bed, looking over to my nightstand I see an old photograph of Jennie and I and I smiled.

Reviews

[Shy_muse]

Great story so far! You had me captivated the entire time... I really enjoyed your writing style... it flows smoothly. I hope you write more! I would like to know what happens next! You did a great job building characters in such a short time too! Keep up the good work < 3 ^_^

[Trevor]

Thank you for reading! It means a lot ^.^