The Alcoholic

About Bob White!!!

The Alcoholic

By Vincent Chapman Sr.

 

 

     Polk County was known for its friendly residents, good ole' country cooking, and local taverns. Like every small town, Polk, over the last twenty years, had been bombarded with large companies. Even though the warehouses were just extensions of the main buildings in the city, they employed hundreds of residents. More than a third worked at the Budweiser Plant.
     Bob White, the town drunk, was a hardworking man. Bar fights and domestic disputes with his wife of twenty years, are amongst some of the things he did while intoxicated. The alcohol had taken a toll on him. Even if he didn't drink for a day or two, you could still smell the alcohol emerge from his pores. Bob was an embarrassment to some.
     "You're going to kill yourself Bob," His wife cried as she watched him down a pint of grain liquor.
     "I'm…I'm not…drunk," he slurred, staggering towards the sofa.
     "You need help."
     Bob ignored her. That's one thing that she hated.
     "Where's the remote?"
     "See, you don't even care about me or yourself. All you worry about is drinking and watching television."
     "Shut up woman. I'm a grown…..."
     She cut him off, "A grown man that doesn't care about his well-being."
     "I do."
     "No you don't. If you loved me, you wouldn't do what you do."
     "Do what," he asked as if he forgot what she said.
     She was disgusted. Being in a relationship with a man like this would eventually make her go insane
     "Bob," she sighed, "alcohol is going to be the cause of your death."

 

     After six months of in-patient rehabilatation programs and counseling, Bob had finally stopped drinking. His relationship with his wife had taken a turn for the best and on top of that, he finally made supervisor of the Steel company he worked for. The community was stunned when they saw Bob enter the doors of the church. Some members thought they had seen a ghost, because at one point and time, Bob didn't attend. He hated it.

     "What time will you be home," his wife asked.
     "Around five."
     "Anything particular you want for supper."
     "You know my favorite."
     "Bean soup it is."
     The banging of steel and the humming of large machinery had echoed throughout the plant.
     "Honey, I'll talk to you when I get home," Bob said,"I can hardly hear you."
     She smiled to herself. Betty hadn't been this happy in months.
     "Okay"
    There was a slight pause.
     "I love you."
     "I love you too," she responded before she hung up the phone.

 

     It was six o'clock and Bob hadn't showed up yet. Dinner was getting cold. Even though she wanted to think positive, she feared the worst. A relapse. Being late without calling was a routine that he pulled months ago when he would be at the bar.
     Seven o'clock. Seven-fifteen. Seven-thirty. There was a knock at the door. When she opened the door the police was standing there. Her heart skipped a beat.
     "Mrs. White?"
     "Yes," she responded, looking at the officers puzzled.
     "There's been an accident," he said taking off his hat.
     She looked at them, lips slightly parted.
     "Your husband, Bob White, was killed in a traffic accident."
     "Oh no," she cried.
     "Sorry Mrs. White."
     "Was alcohol involved?"
     "Yes."
     She burst out in tears.
     The officer continued, " A truck from the Budweiser plant had ran a red light, striking Mr. White on the drivers side. He was killed instantly."
     Betty knew that someday alcohol would be the cause of his death.

Reviews

[JC Fox]

Oh I am sure that this was supposed to be a serious story but I really had to laugh at the ending, the irony to become sober and then get hit by a beer truck! Great write!

[Marjorie]

I went from being very sad to laughing. The end was much ironic. I like it.

[Vincent]

nicki_504......you are one of the few that agree about the length. I wasn't trying to make a book....it's a short short. I believe that getting your point across in a short amount of time is more difficult than drawing it out. Read "Dead Dreams" if you like long, descriptive writing. All in all, I appreciate all the comments. Ya'll are my drive. Thanks.

[nicki_504]

Really good story, It was amusing in a morbid, irreverent, way. I disagree with making it longer I believe you got your point across, afterall "brevity is the soul of wit".

[Carrie Montgomery]

This is great- such irony! You are descriptive without being boring and long-winded and the story line is very clever. I enjoyed this , thanks for sharing.

[yinseriv]

Some of the reviews have suggested extending the story. I would like to vote for that also. I have to think Mrs. Bean Soup is pissed.

[The Archangel Gabriel]

What a great story! You really bring to life the difficulties that have surrounded alcohol over the years. Many people seem to have the belief that because it is legal, it is not a societal problem. This just not has not proven to be the case. Don't get me wrong: I drink from time to time, and I believe that a few glasses of red wine here and there can really be quite a healthy experience. However, it appears that gluttony of any particular fashion can be quite detrimental to your quality of life.

Love the ending! A very solid write!

Peace and love,
Gabe

[John Sanders]

Cool ending. I think you could've made it longer, though...maybe you could have included more details about the accident, I don't know. I thought it was wonderful nonetheless.

[Raef C. Boylan]

The concept of this is really good; I kind of saw it coming, which is a good thing because it shows you provided clues (Budweiser factory) and remained consistent. I personally think you should either expand it a little, allow some characterisation (if we know Bob and his wife better, we'll empathise with them even more) and things like that OR if you want to keep it as straightforward as possible so that the point and the impact are carried across powerfully, then I suggest tidying up a little bit.

Like Jvolloro remarks, the phone conversation jumped out of nowhere a little.
A few things that I think might help:

- a space in-between the passage about church-going and the conversation
- a sentence or two to kind of 'finish off' the part about Bob in church, maybe about him taking his seat and Betty smiling or something
- changing the tense of your sentence about the factor, and maybe providing an indication within it about Bob being on the phone
e.g:
The echoing bangs of steel and humming of large machinery sounded around the plant and through the receiver, drowning her out a little.

Amusing devastation; pretty rare. I like the simplistic title too.
Good write.

Thanks for posting this.

[ganymeder]

What a great story! I really like the ironic ending. Please keep up the great work!