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May you be the tougher.

May you be the tougher.

A Poem by vincentbals
"

My steph father was diagnosed with pancreas cancer a few days ago. I wrote this for him.

"

Fears

Tears

Beams

Broken dreams

 

The world shivers, my breath stands still.

 

Why did you become ill?

 

Flashing lights

no more fights.

 

The bright pearl

its  life to unfurl.

 

Fears

Tears

Beams

Broken dreams

 

I pray for you to overcome

all pain and suffer.

May you become

the tougher.

 

© 2010 vincentbals


Author's Note

vincentbals
New style of writing. I hope you like it.

My Review

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Featured Review

I really like this and the ending is very powerful, I only have one problem with it. It feels sort of forced, like you didn't feel like writing, but did anyway. Despite this, it is a very nice piece and it is also powerful. It hit home with the ending and forced some feelings out of me having had someone close to me suffer like this and me wishing them to over come it. Great job with this and I like this style also. =)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

poignant in its brevity and shorter burst of lines~ relates the frustration and helplessness one feels in the face of a loved one's illness~ well written and related poem~

Posted 14 Years Ago


This is really good, the setup is clever,
and i like how you have put in a question,

I like how also, to everybody that can read it, they can take it in their own way, and it has many expanations xx

Posted 14 Years Ago


I love the outline, and your new style suits the prose perfectly. I hope your step father gets well soon. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago



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691 Views
23 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 13, 2010
Last Updated on August 13, 2010

Author

vincentbals
vincentbals

Antwerp, Belgium



About
I grab every opportunity, life is my sincerity, and my sincerity is bliss. Maybe you’ll have to get to know me first before you can understand who I am, what I write and what I do. Let’.. more..

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