I really like this and the ending is very powerful, I only have one problem with it. It feels sort of forced, like you didn't feel like writing, but did anyway. Despite this, it is a very nice piece and it is also powerful. It hit home with the ending and forced some feelings out of me having had someone close to me suffer like this and me wishing them to over come it. Great job with this and I like this style also. =)
WHOA! I LOVED IT! it was beautiful and very descriptive.....I could Read this a thousand times and it i wouldn't change my mind on how well written this is!
My thoughts go out to your stepfather. A decent poem, the only line that really didn't work for me was 'I pray for you to overcome/all pain and suffer,' I understand if you were trying to rhyme something with tougher but the only word that would make sense here would be 'suffering.' The rest of the poem had a nice, erratic feel to it (significant of this kind of chaotic news perhaps?) but that ending stanza is what ruins it for me! Fix that up and you have a gem!
I really like it. You capture very well the shock of the announcement, and the fact that you wish for him is opening to the future, with the strengh of courage, and a ray of hope. Very nicely done.
I really like this and the ending is very powerful, I only have one problem with it. It feels sort of forced, like you didn't feel like writing, but did anyway. Despite this, it is a very nice piece and it is also powerful. It hit home with the ending and forced some feelings out of me having had someone close to me suffer like this and me wishing them to over come it. Great job with this and I like this style also. =)
I grab every opportunity, life is my sincerity, and my sincerity is bliss.
Maybe you’ll have to get to know me first before you can understand who I am, what I write and what I do. Let’.. more..