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May you be the tougher.

May you be the tougher.

A Poem by vincentbals
"

My steph father was diagnosed with pancreas cancer a few days ago. I wrote this for him.

"

Fears

Tears

Beams

Broken dreams

 

The world shivers, my breath stands still.

 

Why did you become ill?

 

Flashing lights

no more fights.

 

The bright pearl

its  life to unfurl.

 

Fears

Tears

Beams

Broken dreams

 

I pray for you to overcome

all pain and suffer.

May you become

the tougher.

 

© 2010 vincentbals


Author's Note

vincentbals
New style of writing. I hope you like it.

My Review

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Featured Review

I really like this and the ending is very powerful, I only have one problem with it. It feels sort of forced, like you didn't feel like writing, but did anyway. Despite this, it is a very nice piece and it is also powerful. It hit home with the ending and forced some feelings out of me having had someone close to me suffer like this and me wishing them to over come it. Great job with this and I like this style also. =)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I hope for the best for your step. father. Sickness is hard on a family. The feel is of hope and desire for the pain and cancer to disappear. A very good ending. Best cure for a sick person is a caring and loving family.
Coyote

Posted 14 Years Ago


a simple yet profound kind of prayer
with a sincere sense of intention
to use the pain as a means of gaining strength
thank you.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Wow, very powerful. I really like it because a lot of people in the world today seem weaker than they used to be. Society and the government are slowly breaking people down and soon, everything will crumble.

Posted 14 Years Ago


I love it.

Fears
Tears
Beams
Broken dreams

Posted 14 Years Ago


its wonerful i like it a lot
your a really good writer makes me sad to say that i wond of never found this poem if it wasn't for my fran hayley she said it her wish to me

Posted 14 Years Ago


Very strong. The words hit like arrows. I hope that your steph father will be able to fight his illness. Keep it on.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Interesting write.. I didn't think it felt forced at all.. it seemed to just flow for me. I liked the repetition and smooth rhyme scheme. Nice job.

Posted 14 Years Ago


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this is heartfelt and comes across in the poem..prayers to your father for a swift recovery :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


It almost sounds like a song. thats unfortunate though about your father. This was sweet and caring. Hope all is well and this poem is like a prayer well written. 100/100

Posted 14 Years Ago


Pretty good poem. The construction is very well done. Even though I am not a fan of rhymes, the power of emotion of this poem brings the reader in. Good job

Posted 14 Years Ago



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23 Reviews
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Added on August 13, 2010
Last Updated on August 13, 2010

Author

vincentbals
vincentbals

Antwerp, Belgium



About
I grab every opportunity, life is my sincerity, and my sincerity is bliss. Maybe you’ll have to get to know me first before you can understand who I am, what I write and what I do. Let’.. more..

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