Running around town.

Something I just wrote 10 minutes ago.

Running around town in my dirty shoes,

Going fast and slow, on the rhythm of my life.

Trying to exhale all bad memories,

Whilst attempting to take a positive future in.

My feet hit the ground with a repeating sound,

Like a drum during a fancy rock show.

Shaking all the dirt in between the notches

Of my dirty shoes’ sole away.

There goes the past and here comes the future,

I arrive back home

with a brand new pair of shoes.

Reviews

[The Raven King]

I think your syntax and diction or the order, the way and which words you use here are creative and interesting. The rhythm seems better in the second half. I like your message here and the way you convey it. Good job

[Sports Girl]

This was very good. I liked it a lot

[Atheana Kylee-S. C.]

Wow, awesum :)

[Cynthia]

I love this very much!

[amnashah]

Wow! This one is really awesome. I love the allegorical possibilities we can have for this poem and its meaning. Great work!

[Candylove.]

Sooo good! I like what you've done with this; insightful. :)

[KL]

You gotta run with the moment in order to live life. Don't hold the dirt of the past to your shoes. Good write my friend!

[hannah]

I have to say it's a very modern poem, straightforward and short. Good imagery, though. Carefully constructed and excellent use of metaphor.

[Crusaderscross]

Very cool poem with a mundain sujbect like shoes. Very well crafted methaphoric poem.

[the in between]

hahahaha nice future new shoes.

favorite lines:

Trying to exhale all bad memories,
Whilst attempting to take a positive future in.