I'm growing up

I’m growing up.
the ones around me have to accept
the choices I make, the roads I want to walk.
I don’t want to make anyone upset
by getting black coffee in my white cup.
I want to see the perfectly shaped fumes
rising from a heart-made cup of tea,
Warming my trembling hands as I
take my first few steps.

Reviews

I like this poem a lot, but your punctuation is very bad. I will show you how to fix this very easily to make a very nice sounding rhythmic poem.

I’m growing up[.]
the ones around me have to accept[ ]
the choices I make, the roads I want to walk.
I don’t want to make anyone upset[ ]
by getting black coffee in my white cup.
I want to see the perfectly shaped fumes[ ]
rising from a heart-made cup of tea,
Warming my trembling hands as I
take my first few steps.

Simple omitting of a couple commas can greatly move the reader down the page and really make them feel the nice rhyme you have. The addition of a period in the beginning helps build tension before the release. Tell me if this helped you. Thanks. Great poem

[KL]

Time to shake off the Critical and Opposing and carve your own path in this life, whether its with a machete or simply stepping forward. Simple but good!

[PadfootBlack]

Love this. I totally understand.

[Sports Girl]

its an okay poem. i didnt like it too much. probably could have been a little bit better.

[hannah]

In my opinion, the main idea of the poem could have been expanded. But then again there is beauty in simplicity. I guess it really depends on the theme and the writer. Well done. The poem actually seems so innocent and wise at the same time, trying to come out of your childhood shell to become someone more matured because you're ready, but in the process of doing so you have to be careful so that you don't offend anybody, or fail anyone else.

[loowzerX]

It's how I feel right now. Bravo

[Crusaderscross]

You are describing here what frustration a lot of us go through in life. We always want to break away from something. It could be growing up, changing jobs, changing partners. Even if I get the poem, I do agree that the punctuation can change the meaning. Still good job.

[Amy Bumpas]

Sometimes I wish I would have never grown up...I miss
my younger years LOL! This is a really strong line: I don’t want to make anyone upset
by getting black coffee in my white cup.

Nice wording:)

[the in between]

baby steps to adult hood.. awesome way of looking at it. 100/100 :)

[DamienHino]

Independence...something you have to fight for...if your parents are protective and love you...they let go as best as they can. good poem.