Five

“Where are we?”

            The place looked like no place I had ever seen before, but I knew I must know it. It was a large brick building and there were people in scrubs outside the building chatting and drinking iced coffee. I knew it was a hospital by the big, red lettered EMERGENCY sign over the double doors, but I couldn’t register what one. I had lived in Allegan County all my life. I should have known this place like the back of my hand with it being a rather small county and all but, I couldn’t put two and two together. I was just too shaken up.

            “We’re at Holland Hospital,” he said calmly.

Once that registered, I realized that it was going to be the same routine I did almost a year ago, the personal questions, the invasive exams, the preventive medications. Still, I knew that I had to do it, this time I wanted him, and his friends put away.

            Once inside and in a room I asked if I could use the phone; I needed to call Ami.

            RING. RING. RING. RING. Please, be awake!

            “Hello?” her voice sounded half-asleep, “who’s this?”

            “It’s Daniella, I’m at the hospital. John--” I paused.

            “What! I told you I would have given you a ride home!” I didn’t know what to say. She was the only person that would care.

            “I know, I know.”

            “Look at what happened! If you just took the f*****g ride you wouldn’t be in this position.”

            I paused and took a deep breath. “I’m at Holland hospital, on Michigan Ave.”

“I just can’t, I’m sorry.”

            “Ami?” I heard a click. She had hung up.

            My best friend had done the one thing I never saw coming. We had  been best friends since second grade. We did everything together and now she’s left me stranded in a hospital after being assaulted again. How could this have happened? The worst part about it was she was the only one I had trust in and she promised me she would be by my side no matter what. What was I going to do?

I did the only thing I could, I dialed my home phone, and my father answered, “Hello, Lawson residences, this is Daniel speaking.”

            “Dad?”                       

            “Daniella?”

            “I’m in the hospital.” I didn’t want him to get my mom on the phone, so I tried to keep calm by talking slowly and not trying not to show the panic I was feeling.

            “Are you all right? What happened?”

            “Daddy, it happened again.”

`           “What do you mean Pumpkin?”

            “I was raped again.”

            “Oh my God, are you all right? S**t, let me get your mother.”

            Before I got the chance to say no, she picked up, “Daniella, where the hell are you? It’s half past f*****g twelve!”

I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to let it all out, but most importantly, I wanted a mother who was going to be there for me. Maybe hold me while I cry, or even just listen when I needed to talk. That is all I wanted from her, just some love. My life was falling apart, my mother didn’t care, my father knew not to get involved, and my best friend was gone. Ready or not, here goes nothing,

            “I’m at Holland Hospital.”

            “What on earth are you doing there?”

            “I was assaulted again.”

            “S**t! Daniella Lawson, how the f**k did you manage to do this again?”

            My mother and I had never been close as much as I wish we could have been. We always fought from as early on as I can remember. Everything that went wrong was always blamed on me. The broken lock on the door, the water pressure, payment on the insurance being late, or anything else she could think of blaming on me. Eventually, part of me started to believe that everything was always my fault; but this time I knew it wasn’t and I wasn’t going to let her bring me down.

            “Mom,” I took a deep breath so I could remain calm even though everything was crashing down and my life was falling apart. “It’s not my fault this time.”

            “Now I have to drive at night to come and get your sorry a*s. You know I hate driving at night!”

            “Have Dad come get me then.”

            “Your father has to get up in the morning and go to work. This is not his responsibility, nor is it mine, but it looks like I’m stuck dealing with your s**t.”

            I was speechless; I stood there on the phone in awe. I had no idea what to say.

            “Jesus Christ. I’ll be there in two hours,” she said.

            The process was pretty much the same as last time, only different medical personal. They had a doctor look me over and do the vaginal exam this time. It seemed 100 times worse than last time, but I figured that was because it was a man who was examining me and I was not too fond of the male species at that time. If that wasn’t enough, the District Attorney wanted to speak with me once the collection kit was complete. I was exhausted and ready to go home not to mention, I knew my mother was waiting for me. There was a knock on the door. I was slightly surprised by the fact the D.A. of the county was a woman; I know it’s probably a sexist thing to think, but I pictured more of a Sherlock Holmes kind of man.

            “Daniella Lawson?”

            “Yes?”

            “My name is Susan Boyle; I’m the attorney general for the county and I will be taking your case to the court room in the hands of the State of Michigan. We want to put these criminals behind bars so they won’t do this to other innocent people.”

            I didn’t think I had time to go through the court system to put them away before I left for MSU in only a few months.

            “IN order to do this, we would need you to testify as a witness,” she told me.

            I was confused, “I was the victim.”

            “Yes, we understand that, but it is the state that is pressing the charges so you would need to be a witness to the case.” She looked at me with one eyebrow raised, waiting for a response. I don’t know what to say. I didn’t want to do that, but I felt the pressure was on me and that I had to do it or I was in the wrong. It was as if it was my moral responsibility to put these animals behind bars and this was my second chance to do it. The pressure was on me. Did I want to take the time to do this? How long would it take? Could I still go to college in the fall? Eventually after thinking, the questions didn’t matter, I had to get them put away.

 “I’ll be a witness.” I said even though I felt I was not strong enough and that this was going to be a huge mistake in this long line of problems; what if they walk free and then come after me again, what if they want to kill me, what if after what if filled my head, but I said nothing.

            “Perfect! I will see you tomorrow morning at the courthouse; in the meantime try to get some rest.”

Author's Note

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